All at sea

(Jesus said) Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34 

”It feels relentless - a never ending wave of doing in a sea of nothing. A battle between being pulled under and riding the crest. Each day I hit the shore only to be pulled back again, yet each day I miss the rocks, strong enough to keep swimming. #Godisgood #clergymum #ministry”

My tweet this morning reflecting how I am feeling at the moment.  Perhaps it is open to poetic licence, but I wanted to reflect the turbulence that I feel in my daily life.  And I share it because I don’t think I’m alone in this.  I don’t share it for sympathy or pity, but as an acknowledgement that this world is overwhelming.  This virus is affecting the life of the world globally and it cares not for age nor gender, creed nor sexuality, or indeed wealth.  And whether we have had contact with it or not, we are certainly affected by it.

Please be assured that all are held in prayer, in particular, those in mourning loved ones, or waiting for that phone call notification.  For those who are working at the front line, whether in the NHS or caring professions, in the shops supplying and those working behind the scenes to support the community - please know you are loved and thank you for all you do.

For those of us who are home, perhaps alone, perhaps with family, these days can seem heavy somehow, like a burden to be carried.  And yet, at the same time we are grateful that we are ‘safe’.  It feels disrespectful somehow to feel out of sorts if we are not frontline or solving some crisis or another.  Our days are filled with phone calls to family, maybe home schooling (or trying to home school), hobbies or tv,  food and that walk or run down the same street.  Building routine and structure into our lives is key, and so is finding purpose and focus.  I have to admit that I feel I am achieving everything and nothing, and certainly I feel I am constantly trying to meet some expectation no one has, as yet, articulated!   So I go back to a lesson I learned during a dark period in my own life - take pride in the small things, the little achievements.  If I manage to do one thing today to make a difference to my family, to my community, to another person’s wellbeing - I am going to accept that it was a good day and be grateful.

Living with low level anxiety is exhausting and for many that is where we are, recognising that others are living in a much higher state of anxiety, whilst for others it is a long term condition.  Briefly, perhaps we are all in the same sea though - anxious, desperate for safe haven and solid ground.  Perhaps, we can find ways to help other swim, rather than drag each other down with cruel words and selfish actions.  Then we will find safe haven and solid ground sooner.

For me, I hold onto the hope that faith will keep me strong and courageous.

As the hymn writer wrote:

We have an anchor that keeps the soul
Stedfast and sure while the billows roll,
Fastened to the Rock which cannot move,
Grounded firm and deep in the Savior's love

I do believe that God is with us in the water - and perhaps like Peter in the stormy sea we need to look to Christ.  Peter stepped out in faith and walked on the water, and then reality kicked in and he began to sink.  Immediately, and I mean immediately, Jesus put out his hand and lifted Peter up.  I suspect we will be ‘all at sea’ for a while yet, and perhaps face even greater challenges in the day ahead. 

But I want to reassure you, as I reassure myself, that Jesus is in this stormy sea of life with us.  Be gentle with one another and look out for one another for these truly are strange times. And let tomorrow worry about itself, and make today a good day! 

God loves you, you are his child and he is with you always, even to the end of the age. 
God bless
Love Sarah