Have you ever wondered what happens when you pray? I’m sure at some point you have even wondered if there is any point in prayer. Who is listening? Does prayer make a difference? What happens when prayer is not answered? At least not answered in the way we want it too. And if we say to someone we will pray for them and then we forget…is the intention enough.
Let’s pause for a moment – Think about asking another person questions that help you get to know them. Any question but keep it simple. Maybe something you have been dying to ask – like what’s your name? Conversation or dialogue is a way to get to know one another. When we ask questions we learn about each other. But when you asked a question what did you have to do? You had to listen for the answer and even to take your turn.
Often in prayer we look at it as a monologue. We pray, that is we talk and we talk. We are not so good at listening, or indeed sitting in comfortable silence with God. We come with our list of wants and needs, often thoughtful and necessary. But when we pray we are establishing and developing our relationship with God, and He with us. Richard Foster encourages us to waste time with God. That is to enter a time of prayer without expecting anything.
If your child, or indeed an adult only communicated with you when they needed something you would get pretty peeved. So if you wouldn’t entertain it, then we can’t expect God to either. But at the same time when those are the prayers we need, God is right there for us.
Prayer is powerful. Prayer is therapeutic. Prayer is relationship building. Prayer is healing. Prayer is openness. Prayer is vulnerability. Prayer is a gift. Prayer is 24/7.
Often we live in fear of prayer. Invited to pray out loud I’m sure many of you would rather get a tooth out or walk on hot coals. Yet our fear of prayer is crippling our faith. Unlike our Muslim or Jewish friends we have lost the practice of prayer. We might not understand our Catholic or Anglican brothers and sisters, but their practice of liturgical prayer actually helps to keep them more centred than us. And in the practice of prayer we become more comfortable with prayer.
Paul writes to the Church in Ephesus:
And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.
John in his letters writes
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. 15 And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.
In Mark’s Gospel Jesus is speaking and says:
22 “Have faith in God,” Jesus answered. 23 “Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. 24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. 25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”
I can’t give you the reasons why prayers are not necessarily answered the way we want them. You can say for some that praying your train is late might help you but what about the person who misses an interview and maybe a job because you prayed for a late train. Or the parents praying for sunshine and the farmer praying for some rain…
Other times we pray for healing and it doesn’t come the way we want or in the time frame we want. Those are hard times and sometimes hindsight helps. Death was real when Jesus walked the face of the earth – even he mourned and Lazarus despite his extra time still died at some point. It is believed that Joseph, Jesus’ father figure died young. Does this mean that God hasn’t heard or has ignored us? No. He is always moved with compassion and as David put in the now famous psalm – ‘yeah though I go through the valley of the shadow of death, your rod and your staff they comfort me.’. Again and again God promises to never leave us nor abandon us. Prayer is not a magical wand nor do we simply get God like a genie to grant us wishes.
We may not know what our requests don’t happen the way we want. My children don’t always understand why I say no to what seems perfectly reasonable to them. But we don’t stop praying and we don’t stop listening for God – we pray with perseverance. Arguably throughout the Old Testament God has changed his mind through the perseverance of prayer. And Jesus alludes to the perseverance of prayer especially around themes of justice.
Prayer is not a duty or a chore, it is a way of life. It is natural as breathing or at least it should be. But like the muscles in our body, or the brain cells in our heads – if we don’t exercise them or nurture our intelligence, we lose strength and well-being. Please though, know that prayer doesn’t have to be bells and smells or complicated words. Prayer is as simple as sitting in a comfy place, lying down in a garden, holding a cup of tea or indeed a glass of wine, and talking with God. It gets easier! Or you could do what the mother of the Wesley children did – put a blanket over your head and everyone knew to leave in her peace while she prayed. I found it helpful to write my prayers down in a journal because that helped me reflect on my day.
Find your prayer style. It will be relevant and unique to you just as your relationship with God is unique and relevant.
God bless you this summer. And I’ll keep you in my prayers. Sx
