Holy Week Wednesday - Bread and Betrayal

Today’s prop is a slice of bread - not for eating.  

 Reading: John 13:21-33, 36-38

Reflection:

For whom the bell tolls...a dark phrase that sums up where we are heading.  Can you hear them ringing in the background?  Deep and sonorous the bell rings faintly but the closer we get to Friday the louder we hear it.  This journey is fixed, planned and everything is in place.  Today the bell tolls and Judas and Peter feel it resonating.  One of them will respond willingly to its call, the other - well the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.  

Jesus knows.  How heartbreaking to know that someone you have journeyed with over three years will be the one to hand you over to the authorities.  Despite everything Judas saw and experienced over the years, the miracles, the teachings, the welcome to outcasts and the healing of common folks, and still for thirty pieces of silver he would turn his back on Jesus.  Jesus knows and Judas knows that Jesus knows.  How heartbreaking for Judas.  Why didn’t Jesus stop him?  We paint Judas as evil and the author says that at the point the bread is dipped and given to Judas Satan enters Judas.  We know that Satan had promised to return - at the end of the time in wilderness the devil left in order to return. Did his presence harden Judas’ heart like Pharaohs was hardened against the Israelites?  

For Jesus the bell tolled as Judas took the bread and then left. For us bread is a strong symbol of life.  We break bread at communion as Jesus did at the last supper.  We know that Jesus is the bread of life.  John focussed not on the last supper but the washing of the disciples feet.  But bread still features - Jesus gave the bread of life to Judas and he took it and left, going out into the night.  The wee aside that it was night reminds the reader that Jesus had spoken that those who walk in the darkness will surely stumble and fall.  

Too many of us know the feeling of betrayal, or perhaps the feeling of being let down.  The disappointment, the sorrow, the pain cuts deep and healing can be a long road.  I don’t want you to lose yourself in the past but for a moment try and remember the feeling rather than the cause.  

Before this week ends all who gathered together, all those feet he washed will have scattered in fear.  Break up your piece of bread into smaller pieces as you ponder the relationships that are breaking for Jesus around this dinner table. Pause and spend a little time at that table from the perspective of Jesus, knowing the pain he felt. 

Keep your bread pieces safe because you will need them again shortly. 

As Jesus sits at the table, his disciples shocked at the revelation despite the heavy hints Jesus has been dropping all night.  Honestly these guys do not do subtle!  But sometimes we just don’t want to believe the truth before our eyes.  We ignore it so readily.  This time last year none of us wanted to believe that this virus would be a serious threat to our country, indeed our world.  It was seen as a problem elsewhere but in the early days we operated with a little arrogance and the age old ‘it’ll never happen to me’.  Hindsight is awesome but where would we be if we had taken it more seriously and accepted the truth. 

And so Peter’s betrayal is hard but we accept it because it was ever so human.  If Judas’ betrayal was motivated by greed or zeal, then Peter’s was self-preservation.  He just wasn’t ready to die.  And we all fake it from time to time.  Bluff, appearing more confident than we actually are.  But Jesus knew that Peter, loud and loyal as he was would also betray him.  How heartbreaking to know one of your dearest friends would deny he even knew you.  For Jesus the bell tolls as he tells Peter - ‘I am telling you the truth: before the cock crows you will say three times you do not know me.’  Spoiler alert but this is exactly what happens. 

Betrayal happens for any number of reasons.  We don’t even always know why.  But it can come from anywhere.  

The one on the fringes who never felt he belonged - for greed, spite, zeal;

The one who was right at the centre of it all - for self-preservation;

The people who were his own but they received him not - mob rule;

The leader who should have defended the innocent - fear of loss of control

The religious authorities who should have known the truth - fear of losing power

None of us are innocent and we cannot lay the blame at one doorstep.  From the inner circle of friends to the furthest reaches of religious and civil law - Jesus was betrayed. 

Yet the only one called a betrayer is Judas.  Did he have a choice? He was certainly capable of great regret so remember he is human. And when it comes to Peter, well we are all capable of good intentions.

When it comes to our faith journey how many good intentions have you got?  Reading your bible every day, prayer times, quiet times, learning more about faith through study, getting involved in worship or community support, loving others especially those who have hurt you, actually loving yourself and so on.  That list is not exhaustive. Take a moment to consider how Jesus, the bread of life nourishes us.  That in the breaking of bread we are reminded that we are forgiven.  Share with God your good intentions.  Be prepared for him to call you out on them but it is not the end of the road if he does. Remember on Peter, God built his church.  Peter didn’t set out to betray Jesus, and Jesus promises that Peter will follow him a little later.  Our good intentions are genuine just sometimes like Peter a little impossible to keep right now! Give God a chance to help you focus on the right ones. Keep it real.

Tomorrow we find the heart of Holy Week as we explore love.  Even in the midst of the angst and the darkness creeping in, Jesus will bring light and love.  God is present even as the bell tolls louder. 

I encourage you to take your broken bread and scatter it in your garden, your park, the church garden - symbolic of how the friends of Jesus scattered.  Ask God to help you stay present as we go into Maundy Thursday and Good Friday, even though it is hard.  For we know that even in the hour of darkness comes the hour of glorification.  We still have hope.  

Prayer

Forgiving God, we come into your presence deeply humble because we know we are full of good intentions.  We make promises like Peter.  We promise we will show up for you but then we get distracted.  And before we know it the opportunity has been and gone.  And we promise to do better in the future. 

Lord, may we truly repent of our sins, weeping like Peter as the cock crowed the third time.  May we appreciate the hurt and the damage our sins do to you.  We are so grateful for your endless mercy and yet like the woman caught in adultery - forgiven but sent with the words ‘go and sin no more’.  Forgive us our sins and with the psalmist we pray:  Create in me a clean heart. 

As we draw ever closer to Good Friday, we pray for the wisdom to understand and the empathy to draw alongside the characters, not looking for bad guys and heroes but seeing human beings.  Confused, complicated, challenging people just like us.

We pray for those we have hurt, the friends, the family, the colleagues we have let down.  For the times we didn’t show up or we looked the other way, whether through fear, self-preservation or greed.  

And hard as it may be we pray for those who have let us down, who have betrayed us.  We know that some will like Judas and there will be no repair to relationships but Jesus, let there be peace and healing in our hearts.  Others are like Peter, and we pray for the grace and courage to allow relationships to heal.  May we be willing to build bridges not walls, just as your cross is a bridge between heaven and earth. 

Lord as you love us, forgive us, welcome us, may we extend love to others, especially those we struggle to love because of pain, disappointment and betrayal.  Lord, may your church be known as a place of healing, forgiveness and love, not anger, conflict and pain.  

In the name of Jesus who cast light into the darkness and glorifies God we pray.  

Lord bless us with your presence, that we who betrayed you are still welcomed, loved and forgiven by the Holy God.

God loves you very much. 

May you be blessed and in turn be a blessing to all whom you meet. 

And the blessing of God almighty, Father, Son and Holy Spirit rest upon you and remain with you now and forevermore. Amen

Tuesday Holy Week - Jesus hides?

Welcome to Tuesday of Holy Week.  Have a small item that fits in your hand when you close your hand.  

Reading: John 12:31-50

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+12%3A31-50&version=GNT

Reflection:

There is much in this passage that we could reflect on.  We could debate theological doctrine, predestination, imagery of light and dark, lifted up and death, belief and unbelief, and although they will feature in our reflection - it is the person of Jesus I wanted to focus on.  What really struck me in the reading for today, which obviously we have been building up to in these past weeks is what Jesus did.  Not what he said - important as it is, but what he did.

‘After Jesus said this, he went off and hid himself from them.’ 

Ponder for yourself for a moment why did Jesus hide himself away.  Look at the item in your hand and close your hand around it and take a few moments to pause and consider for yourself why Jesus hid himself from the people.

What did you come up with?  Don’t worry if you didn’t think of something or if you thought of something I haven’t even considered. What is important is the time we spend truly getting to know God through his word. 

Many of you have heard the expression or indeed used it - I wish I could stop the world and get off for a while.  The problem is even when we are grieving or going through significant life changes the world keeps turning, our responsibilities as a family member, a colleague, a friend, a church or charity participant, indeed the needs of our physical bodies just keep coming at us.  We might not be able to stop the world (if you know how please let me know!) but we can learn from Jesus and hid ourselves away.  But before you get too excited by this, let’s build a little context.

Jesus was at the last possible moment of stepping up or stepping away, so he steps back.  It is not a moment of fear but a moment of preparation. He is about to head into the toughest time of his earthly life.  We know he feels everything like we do.  He wept at the grave of Lazarus, he was lovingly frustrated over Jerusalem’s rejection of him, he loved his friends and he was compassionate on so many people throughout the gospels.  And to be honest, he had to have a sense of humour as well or he would have thrown in the towel...

So this week we remember that Jesus was human and he could hurt emotionally, spiritually and physically.  Jesus hid himself away to prepare himself for what lay ahead.  He was not going into this sacrifice blind or arrogant. He knew he would be betrayed from closest friend and beyond. He knew that for the majority of the people who witnessed his sacrifice would know nothing of its depth or eternal consequence.  

No matter how hard he had tried, no matter the miracles, no matter the words, the passion, the story telling - even his own disciples barely grasped the enormity of what would happen.  Only in the light of the resurrection would they truly understand.  Hints of this frustration are found in the Old Testament passages John chooses to include in his Gospel.  After that anointing at Bethany, and the smell of the nard still wafting about, the cheers of the crowd as he rode into town on the donkey, the Greeks arriving and a reminder that he is following God the Father’s plan for the whole world,  his sense of disappointment and hope fighting for the win, he pleads for them to believe in the light then he hides himself away. 

Jesus needed time with God his Father, without the distraction of the people, away from the bounty hunters and the Pharisees, and away from the confused disciples.  

Put it this way.  Exhausted pastors are worse than useless because pastoring is a whole body experience - draining physical, mental and spiritual resources.  Jesus needed to hide himself away as preparation.  And in acknowledging this we can grasp something of how difficult this week was, and how real the sacrifice.  

When was the last time you hid yourself away with God?  As human beings we often push on, keep going, put on the brave face, be stoic.  Trust me I do this too.  But sometimes in order to step up rather than step away we need to step back into a deeper moment with God. 

We are afraid of hiding ourselves away. Sometimes we are afraid of what God might tell us.  Sometimes we are afraid that the world we hold together will collapse without us at the helm for an hour, a day, a weekend, a week... We feel guilty because we are responsible for.... 

Let me repeat what Jesus did.

Jesus was at the last possible moment of stepping up or stepping away so he steps back.  It is not a moment of fear but a moment of preparation.  

When we are at that last possible moment of stepping up or stepping away, have we stepped back first, especially, particularly when we think we don’t have time?

Perhaps you are good at this - thank him for that relationship of trust.  Perhaps you fall into these moments, crashing rather than arriving rather like Elijah in the cave of despair.  Seek the Spirit’s help to shape your life so that you can step back well and then step up to whatever Christ calls you too.  Remember Jesus embraced his humanity and with that comes the need to hide in God.  It is a sign of strength and faith to step back first.  Then God can get a word in edgewise - be it a word of discernment, encouragement, blessing, or even correction.  

Take a moment to pray with God, inviting him to help you find ways appropriate to you to step back, to hide away in him.  God loves you.  As Jesus prepared for what lay ahead, take time to prepare for what lies ahead as we approach Good Friday.  Holding your item, focus on it, close your hand over it and pray.  

I hope you have been blessed in your prayer time.  How might you have more of this ‘hideaways’? 

Prayer

Lord God, 

You are over all things, through all things, in all things, and there is nowhere we can go to hide from your presence.  But Lord, we pray that we would be willing to hide ourselves in you.  Lord, when the world around us threatens to crush us, as the weight of responsibilities breaks our back and suffocates our souls, hide us in your holy presence.  Remind us that your burden is light and your yoke is easy.  Forgive us when we try and take on everything in our own strength.  Let us be like Jesus - stepping back in order to be able to step up. Welcome us Lord with open arms and be our rock, our refuge, our haven.

Lord Jesus, teach me how to hide myself in God my Father like you did.  Not in fear of the world, not through apathy, nor through some selfish desire, but to be restored, strengthened, encouraged, inspired and blessed.  Lord, help me to persuade others to take time to hide in order to prepare ourselves to step out in faith. 

Holy Spirit, teach me how to abide in you and not to see that as time wasted.  Help me see what is important, that even as time runs short, as the pressures increase and the call of earthly glory threatens to trump divine presence, that I need to abide in order to work.   

Lord of all people, there are many who need a safe space to hide, and we pray for those who cannot find them.  Lord, be a very real presence in their lives, and help them know that you know what it is to be hunted, persecuted, tried and killed.  You are not a distant God.  Please Lord help us raise our voices against injustice, to pray for our persecuted brothers and sisters and where possible advocate for change.  Bless your children throughout the world, and encourage us this Easter be part of the love revolution. 

In your name and for your world you came to save - we pray.  

Blessing 

God loves you so very much. 

Be light in our dark times. 

Be love and be loved. 

Step back to step up

Knowing that God is with you in the silence and the chaos.

And the blessing of God almighty, Father, Son and Holy Spirit rest upon you and remain with you now and forevermore.  Amen. 

Holy Week Monday Reflection - More than just a smell

The Perfume of Mary - Worship in Action

This reflection encourages you to use the smell of a perfume or aftershave as a prop.  

Reading: John 12:1-11

Reflection:

The time is drawing near and as the man with the sandwich board reminds the passing shoppers - ‘the end is nigh’.  And where does the hurting and the condemned man go but to friends? A safe haven when the world becomes dark and heavy with tension.  Yet nowhere is truly safe, but perhaps for a wee while there is illusion of normalcy as friends gather around the table. A celebration of life and yet also a wake, a purvey, a last supper of sorts.  

Lazarus who was in the grave sits with the man who faces the grave. A little scared, joyful, grateful yet uncertain.  Martha once again is scurrying about going from kitchen to table to kitchen, feeding the menfolk.  The conversation is scattered and rambling and no one feels truly at peace as they recline to eat - the normal eating posture, with their feet stretched out at some distance from their heads.  Conversations peppered with fear as the hunt is on for Jesus and even Lazarus because he is an anomaly upsetting the carefully balanced relationship between Rome and Jerusalem.  

Suddenly, the air is filled with a sweet sweet smell.  Its fragrance catches the attention of the room and all look for its source.    It is the smell of passion, of romance, of wealth yet is it out of place, indeed unexpected.

Breathe deep of the scent before you (carefully).  How evocative is the smell?  How out of place is it at this moment in time?  What does the smell awaken within?  How do you react to it?

Push the push button here as ponder the reactions the smell evokes at the time, and in you.  

The pure nard, worth a year’s wages, imported from India where the best nard comes from drips from the feet of Jesus as Mary resumes her favourite location - at his feet.  Kings are anointed on their heads, the dead are anointed from their feet up.  As the shock settles in the room, Martha gazes in wonder at the actions of her sister, part enthralled, part holding her breath in fear.  

Mary, meanwhile, is lost in her worship of Jesus and unaware of the drama unfolding around her.  Her hair falls around her shoulders, her tresses unwound only for her husband and or as a distraction in grief, fall over his feet and she wipes up the perfume with her hair.  Touching yet not touching him.  It is unashamed love spilling out from her very centre, as she worships him, and yet prophetically speaks of his death and burial. What she does is announce that he is the Messiah, son of the living God, just as Peter had done in words previously. Actions speak louder than words perhaps, for she truly committed to the action of worship. 

When was the last time you worshipped Jesus with unashamed love and abandonment?  Where you defied the social norms and danced like no one was watching, sang like no one was listening, wept like no one could see the mess, laughed in holy joy til your sides split, gave your very best without counting the cost...

Perhaps pause for a moment and consider that moment that comes to mind, or consider what that moment might look like for you?  I’m a dancer for God - not talented but as the music washes over me that’s my honest moment of worship, my connection point. 

Storming into the moment comes the harsh words of Judas, breaking, indeed shattering the silence as the room lets go of its breath.  Again Mary is in the spotlight and called out for her behaviour, and again the Lord defends her.  This time she is not just lazy, she is wasteful, a thoughtless woman through and through.  But not to God. 

To God she is amazing. She is insightful.  She is faith-filled.  She is generous. She sees the eternal not just the present.  She worshipped in love, with extravagance, with passion, and even after Jesus left for Jerusalem the smell lingers in the air, causing her to pray and worship some more.  As for the others in the room - where they inspired, blessed, anxious, or with hindsight able to praise her for her worship? How might they have felt at the time or afterwards?

For how long the smell carries with Jesus we know not but if you have quality perfume you will know the scent lasts, clinging to skin and fabric.  The smell for Jesus evokes feelings of love, of faithfulness, of worship, of hope.  Perhaps he was further emboldened that even the people who had followed Jesus and disciples to Bethany didn’t report the presence of Jesus to the authorities.  In amongst the tension, the impending death sentence Jesus knew was coming, there is a moment of beauty that encourages and strengthens him for the road ahead. As flashes of the scent caught him time and time again - did that love shown, remind him that his Father loved him dearly also?

As we worship God, as we bring prayers of gratitude, as we look for his blessings on our lives and the lives of those we know, we too are encouraged and strengthen for the road ahead.  Pray for the strength to face our foes not with condemnation but with love.  Pray that we would never put down another for extravagant worship - just because we don’t get it. Pray that God’s church, especially where we have stripped it to its bare components would become extravagant and fulsome again, that the love we readily show ourselves and our families would be evident in our faith as well.  

Prayer 

Lord Jesus, 

As we read about Mary and her expensive nard we are inspired and afraid at the same time. You truly are worthy of all worship and praise.  And Lord we do bow before you in humble adoration.  We are without a doubt blessed because of you and your sacrificial love. 

And yet we know that too often we are reluctant to be extravagant in our worship. We keep our hands in our pockets, we keep our feet firmly planted and years of conditioning allow us just to clap our hands.  Lord, we are so afraid to let go and truly worship for fear of embarrassment or making a fool of ourselves.  Yet Lord, those moments when we sing out our hearts, when our bodies move to the rhythm without care for style or shape, when our hands rise above our heads, when our generosity to you blesses those around us, you are worshipped.  Occasionally Lord help us be extravagant and to worship you like no one but you is present. 

May we be insightful this week, that we might embrace the pain and the sorrow, that when joy comes we truly rejoice again at the empty tomb.  May we be honest that we know that we should be willing to give our all no matter the cost, because your generosity and love is without limit in return.  May we be gentle with those we don’t understand and know that you welcome us all whether we are faith filled or feeling lost on the edges.  Lord, help us look for your light and come into your holy presence forgiven and loved. May we love and worship in return without fear or constraints.  In your name we pray.  Amen.  

Blessing

God loves you so very much. 

May the sweet smell of God’s presence 

Touch your soul, heal your brokenness and restore your heart and mind. 

And the blessing of God almighty Father, Son and Holy Spirit rest upon you and remain with you now and forevermore.  Amen