Theme: ABC of Discipleship – B- Behaviour/Belonging

Theme: ABC of Discipleship – B- Behaviour/Belonging

“Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”

I wonder what you think of when you hear this phrase.  Does it inspire you?  Does it cause you to ponder and reflect?  Or does it wash over you as if it didn’t apply to you? When it comes to your behaviour do you need to repent?  Yes, No, Maybe, Always, Never...

I always found those people who stood on Buchanan Street or on Princes Street with the sandwich boards calling people to repent for the end is night somehow sad and lost.  Yet the call to repent is so necessary in this world.  Just because we don’t like the message it doesn’t make it wrong. I maybe wouldn’t agree that the end is nigh but the call to repentance - yes we need that. It makes us uncomfortable because none of like to think we have anything to repent of. 

Repentance became something of a dirty word in Protestant circles, linked as it was with confession which is seen as a Catholic activity or with the evangelical fundamentalism of sinners prayers and Jesus in your heart.  Yet within both of these are important understandings about repentance.  

Although we have different understandings around confession, ultimately confession is necessary for all Christians whether Protestant, Catholic, Orthodox or Independent! Confession is a part of repentance but not the whole of it. 

I can confess my sins and receive forgiveness, but repentance is about actually turning away from it.  For example, I can confess that I lost my temper and was less than gracious with my children. I can receive their forgiveness and God’s forgiveness. But if I truly repent of it then I am likely to actually make an effort to find ways to not do it again.  I will but less often because I will have made an effort to learn my triggers, given myself coping mechanisms and most importantly prayed for help and support from God to control my temper. 

The Evangelical focus on asking Jesus to come live in your heart was the desire to help us focus on what it means to live in God’s ways.  Even in the song we had earlier we sang about Jesus being in our heart, which for us is where we understand our emotional behaviour resides.  The heart is the symbol of love and passion, and if you are the Grinch then your heart is too small! Like all metaphors it has its limitations and we are called to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength, and our neighbours as we love ourselves.  Kind of like living with the “What would Jesus Do’’ mantra as your guide, the focus of repentance is turning from the world to God.  

To repent means to turn around or turn back from a certain course of action or way of life.  For us we are turning away from that which is corruption or evil to God himself.  It is a deliberate decision, a deliberate act, a moment in time where we make a choice to cease those activities that are breaking our relationship with God.  Again each person has to repent of their own free will, but repentance isn’t a form of torture.  It is an opportunity to receive healing in body, mind and soul.  Repentance is about turning away from the call of the world to live selfish lives, where we are the focus, to focussing on Jesus himself. 

We might not want to have a ‘holier than thou’ attitude and that is good.  We are not trying to set ourselves up as better than other people - after all we are all sinners.  But our behaviour speaks volumes.  Our words can share love or anger, peace or hatred, encouragement or criticism.  Our actions show love or anger, peace or hatred, encouragement or criticism.  If anything our attitudes shape the environment around us.  A grumpy person gives off a very different vibe to a happy person.  We all know that moment when you walk into a room and you can cut the air with a knife...

Repentance for Christians means living in God’s way - moving away from the need to keep up with the Jones’, or crippling our lives with addictions or drowning in work in order to receive affirmation through status or pay packet.  Repentance sees us loving our enemies rather than planning revenge or wallowing in bitterness.  Repentance sees us reaching out in compassion to the lost, lonely and struggling, not through some false sense of ‘goody-two-shoes-syndrome’ but because we couldn’t imagine not helping. Repentance sees us giving control back to God, not trying to control our own lives or future, or the lives of others.  

The biggest criticism of Christians is that we don’t practice what we preach.  We are more known for who we don’t love than who we do.  Just this week the Church of England came under fire for its statement on sex and marriage, which made other types of relationships appear second class or illegitimate.  

How does our faith impact on our daily lives?  If we are holding grudges against others, how does that tie in with the call to love everyone even our enemies?  We speak about welcoming the stranger and then refuse to offer safe haven to the refugee or opportunities for the immigrants for fear of them stealing our jobs. We offer help to the poor but it is not the best of what we have but the cheapest or cast offs.   Do we spread gossip and rumours or spread encouragement?  Even the magazines we read - are they gossip mongers or actually worthy of being read by Christians, for by buying them we are contributing to the social shaming of human beings.   And we are feeding the negativity of humanity, even if it is one step removed. 

You are known as a Christian even by people who don’t really know what that means.  And less and less having any clue what that means.  Folks know that you belong to Blantyre Old and often if you end up in a conversation about church with others, you will share which churches you go to or went to. Some of you belong here, but your heart lies with a previous church! Our sense of belonging also often needs some repentance.  

It’s not wrong to feel that you belong here - I absolutely get that.  And I would dearly love to see more and more people become members here.  But whenever one joins the church, at the heart of it must be the desire to publicly confess your faith, your desire to belong to Christ.  As Paul found out people find it easier to swear allegiance to an individual than to God.  Some people come to church here because of family ties, because of the minister...some will come back to this church when the current minister goes and some will leave.  But we don’t come to worship for the building or the minister or the great cakes after the service - but for God. 

And within the Church family there are issues and divisions, and just as there are some who love what happens here, there are others who find fault and share them without care or compassion. The greatest threat to the Church has always been its own ability to fight with itself.  We preach a message of unconditional love and then throw in as many conditions as possible.  We say everyone is welcome but only if they don’t sit in my seat! We ring fenced the table yet Jesus broke bread with the man who condemned him to death and the one who he knew would betray him. 

I said earlier that repentance brings healing and it does because with repentance comes freedom.  Freedom from the burden of this world to conform.  With repentance comes light in the darkness. Jesus is our light, his word is a light to our path.  When we don’t know the way to go he shows it to us.  We no longer have to fear what lies ahead even though it may take us through the valley of the shadow of death.  

When you look at your life, assessing your discipleship where is your focus?  It is on worldly concerns - like status, wealth, making human beings happy...or is your focus on God and his call on your life to love.   When people look at you do they see Christ in your actions?  It is fantastic if they do and if they don’t, is this a time for you confess and repent?  It may be a journey to take rather than an overnight transformation.  Repentance is a first step - confession is the tool that keeps us focussed on God.  

When, not if, I lose my temper - I will need to confess, but I will know that God will help me work out why it happened and how I can continue to grow in grace, patience and biting my tongue until I find kinder, healthier ways of getting my children out the door! If I don’t repent first, I will simply go through the motions or worse enjoy the temper tantrum. 

What my children see is not a battle of self and God’s grace, but my behaviour.  This is what the world sees and so our behaviour needs to reflect our repentance and our belonging to Christ.  I want to be a good role model, and that will mean modelling repentance, confession and growth in faith and grace. Let’s not be arrogant and suggest we have nothing to repent of or confess...for then we might be compared to a certain President than to Christ. 

Pray this week for the Holy Spirit to help you be open to areas of your life where repentance might be necessary.  Invite a trusted friend to ask you if your behaviour reflects Christ?  Be gentle with yourself, and remember none of us are perfect, not even Mary Poppins (referred to in our all age conversation about role models).   But if you are willing to repent, I promise the new direction will take you ever closer to God and deepen your sense of belonging with him.  And that’s worth it.  

God bless! 

Next week we look at Challenge and Change. 

The A of Discipleship - Assess and Assurance

Over the next few weeks I want to encourage us to explore discipleship and how we might grow and strengthen our faith.  If anything I have learnt over the past year, its that when people see the difference they want to find out more.  They are curious as to the how and the way.  In the beginning some take the mickey - including family.  But as the difference becomes more obvious then they are interested to find out more.  We can inspire and encourage others to join with us because there are visible positive results.  Those who do join in have to make their own choice though because each person is responsible for what they learn, or eat, or do.  Just as going to McDonald’s doesn’t make you a burger, joining a gym doesn’t make you fit.  You have to commit and make your own effort, your own decisions. 

Today I want to encourage you to assess where you are on your faith journey.  It is a good place to start, because it is when we acknowledge where we are, that we can make decisions about how to move forward in faith.  

It is a time of honesty - a time to be honest with yourself and with God.  

It can be a time of challenge because you might not like what you find.  

It is can be a time of empowerment because you realise how far you have come.  You might think that in terms of faith that you haven’t grown that much, and yet when you think of the times where you have resisted temptation, or overcome some time of hardship, or when doubt has almost wiped you out, that mustard seed of faith has never gone. 

If we are to commit to turning our lives around - whether it is healthy living, eating well, getting fit, reducing our carbon footprint, developing our spiritual life of prayer or bible reading, improving our minds - we need to know what it is that we need to do. So we can’t shortcut this process of discipleship. 

Looking at the story from the Gospel today, John knew who he was and where he stood in the story and mission of the faith.  He doesn’t speak from a place of self-pity, but a place of confidence.  He knew that the one who came after him, would surpass him. We have to ask ourselves where do we place Jesus in our lives?  And this isn’t so much about putting God first, but actually about recognising that God is in all things and through all things.  God is part of our daily life, part of our family, part of our friendship circles, part of our working life, our commitments.  

John knows that Jesus is the Lamb of God, and gives him his place.  And from this knowledge that he shares with those who follow him, Jesus has his first two disciples who follow him.  John points the way to the Messiah in such a way that Andrew is able to tell his brother Simon that he has found the Messiah. 

As a Church, especially one facing such change and decline, where conversations of linkages, unions and closures, of cutting staff and the minister retirement cliff, shrinking congregations, resources and finances can cripple our outlook, we need faith.  And it can’t be a faith that is built on the sandy ground of reshaping committees and governance, but a faith that is built of the cornerstone - that is Jesus Christ himself.  There is a place of reshaping, for thinking of others and building a church community that is focussed on the right things.  But at the heart of any change and transition in a church is you.  Each and everyone of you.  

If you want to know how healthy we are as a church, it isn’t the number of bums on seats on a Sunday morning, or indeed how much money in the bank, it is the faith that resides and grows within you.  How do we measure that?  How do we nurture our seeds of faith?  That is the million dollar question.  It is your faith and how you point the way to the Messiah, like John the Baptist that is our measurement.  However, to do that, we need, like John to know the Messiah.  

It is easy to accept who we are at a superficial level.  We get comfortable with who we are, even if we wish that we were taller, shorter, smarter, richer or whatever. Yet if we dig down below the superficial level to what really matters to us, what do we find? 

I want to plant some seeds of discontent amongst us...because seeds of discontent motivate us to be uncomfortable, and when we get uncomfortable we make changes.  There are definitely times when being comfortable is a must, wearing the pyjamas of faith are necessary.  Even Jesus took his disciples on retreat. 

This is a time of discontent and we are going to need to strengthen our faith, be convinced of the fact that God is here, that we are his people in this place and we have everything we need to spread the Good News of Jesus Christ.  We know that these are dark times for the Church, but the light shines in the darkness and the darkness hasn’t put it out.  Arguably, this is the time when the fields are ready for harvest.    

That is the Great Commission - that we are to go and make disciples.  However, to make disciples we need to be disciples.  I have made more disciples for WW than arguably I have made for Christ.  Certainly before I got involved with WW, nobody got involved with it because of me.  Obviously, I never truly know how many seeds I have planted for Christ, for it is God that makes them grow. 

Where are you at?  Is your faith something that informs your daily life?  How you treat people?  What you buy in the shops or who you vote for?  How you communicate with those who annoy you?  Faith isn’t just about worship or reading God’s word or volunteering at the Foodbank.  It is a way of life, it is our life.  And this isn’t about comparing with others because telling St. Peter at the Pearly Gates that you were better that Mrs Smith isn’t going to cut it.  

However, before you think I am judging you - I’m not.  I have to assess my faith, my commitment to be a disciple as well as my commitment to make disciples.  I am far from having this sewn up.  

Thankfully, I know that I’m not in this by myself.  Firstly, Jesus is our teacher, Rabbi.  We learn from him by reading his word, by prayer, by contemplation and by getting out there and doing it.  We grow and mature as we grow in trust, because God is faithful, even when we are faithless.  Paul writing to the Church in Corinth which was as messed up as many a church family is today, praises God for their faith and tells them they have every spiritual gift they need.  Everything we need is at our fingertips, just sometimes we need help to make sense of it, to embrace it.  

I always knew about healthy eating, portion sizes and all that jazz.  But I needed help to make sense of it, to embrace it.  Nowadays I don’t need the same level of support because it has become a way of life.  We know so much but sometimes we need the help and guidance of others more experienced, or more knowledgeable or just willing to make mistakes with us.  Sometimes we win big, other times we feel like total failures.  But we don’t quit!  Once we commit to this we might find we go on to far greater amazing things for and with God than we ever thought possible.  

Jesus’ disciples went through the highs and lows of discipleship.  From great praise to deep lows, from profound teaching to getting out there and trying it from themselves, the disciples went through it all.  But they didn’t quit - even Peter who denied Christ three times became the rock upon which the church was built. 

So today I want to assure you that God loves you.  There is nothing in this world or the next that can separate us from the love of God found in Jesus Christ.  Assessing your discipleship is to motivate you - rather than stagnate. We don’t know what we don’t know.  So ponder it this week - be aware of how your faith impacts the choices you make, the words you say, the behaviour, the time you spend with God...

Whatever this season of discipleship brings to light for you, let me know, constructively so that you can be supported in this journey. You are not alone, for we are in this together and ultimately God Himself will provide. 

The author of the Message version shares Paul’s words from 1st Corinthians like this:

Just think—you don’t need a thing, you’ve got it all! All God’s gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for our Master Jesus to arrive on the scene for the Finale. And not only that, but God himself is right alongside to keep you steady and on track until things are all wrapped up by Jesus. God, who got you started in this spiritual adventure, shares with us the life of his Son and our Master Jesus. He will never give up on you. Never forget that.  Amen.

Expectations of the Old

Based on the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth, we contemplated what our expectations are when we are old. Remember we can be old in age, mindset or attitude.

Advent is a season of preparation, of getting ready for something exciting or important to happen. A season of expectation and anticipation.  Sometimes though we end up so weary, fed up with unfulfilled promises.  We are on the verge on a General Election and we are being promised so much.  We remember the promises of the Brexit campaign and our ability to trust these promises is fractured.  How do we know what is truth and what is spin? 

Sometimes we end up old – in age, in mindset, in attitude.  We know that old age doesn’t come itself.  Over the years the niggles in joints become regular events, the pace of the walk slows down, the mind that held multiple thoughts now stands in the middle of the room and asks what did I come for?  We look at younger people in their 20s and think they are 12 and should still be in school.  We look at younger people with a pang of jealousy.  Yet with age comes wisdom, experience and knowledge. For example, I wish I knew at 20 what I knew at 40, for then I might have made some kinder choices in my life. 

Sometimes we end up old in mindset or attitude.  I can’t do something because I’m old.  Rather than approach a situation from a different perspective we write ourselves off because we are old.  The minister encourages us to build the church and we think  to ourselves – well I’m too old for that.  And immediately we write ourselves off, as if there is nothing we can contribute.  Yet your experiences of this in the past can inspire and encourage the church of today.  We think the secular world is a huge problem, and yet many in the Church today come from the hard days post war pain and loss and ‘where was God in the wars?’.  

Younger generations are without time – giving them the gift of wisdom and knowledge that would help their time be used efficiently.  Or you have the time to pray for vision and God’s blessings…and of course every family needs the recipe for Granny’s apple pie!  There are equivalents to that in the Church – sharing the legacy of the church that was passed down to you and so on. 

Elizabeth and Zechariah were old, and felt that their time had passed. They were still faithful, good people of faith, fulfilling their role and worshipping God.  Zechariah was a priest but not one of the super duper variety.  Rather he was from a priestly line and was most likely just a simple country man with basic education in his field.  An ordinary old man, past the age of having children.  He is picked by lots to be in the Temple that day to burn the incense.  Probably a once in a lifetime opportunity but it is the right time.  An angel appears and tells him that his prayer has been answered.  I wonder if his first thought is – which prayer?  

The angel tells him that he will become a father, and Elizabeth a mother.  To be fair to Zechariah he wasn’t expecting to meet an angel never mind become a father.  When we are old there is a risk that we stop expecting God to do anything in our lives.  Yet in scripture, time and time again age is not a barrier to God.  Moses was 40 when he ran away and hid, 80 when he took the Israelites into the desert, and 120 when they found the promised land. 

Elizabeth hid during her pregnancy, perhaps to protect the child given her age.  Perhaps because she didn’t want to answer lots of awkward questions.  Perhaps because Zechariah couldn’t say a word, and that added its own issues to the situation.  But when Mary comes she is encouraged and enabled to accept and feel blessed by the pregnancy.  And perhaps she comes to believe that truly this child is of God.  When the baby is born she says his name is John.  It causes a reaction because normally the child would be named after its father or family, but she is adamant.  And so is Zechariah and as he confirms his belief publicly that this child is of God by writing down his name, he is given the power of speech back. 

Old age doesn’t have to silence us.  Old age doesn’t have to make us watch from the sidelines whilst others do the work.  Old age doesn’t make us dispensable.  But sometimes like Zechariah and Elizabeth we need to have our expectations challenged. 

If you have been silenced, ask yourself if you have silenced yourself?  Zechariah silenced himself by doubting the angel’s message.  Despite where he found himself, in a holy place, he could not process the moment.  And his doubt in God, in himself, silenced him. 

And only his faith that God was in the gift of this child, in obeying God was he able to speak again. How might you find your voice?  What doubts are holding you back from participating fully?  You might not be asked by God to have a child with a special mission, but you are asked to be part of the family.  Are there ways you can support, encourage, enable, build up, make paths smooth for others?  There are plenty people pulling down the church and people of faith.  We need an army of encouragers and enablers, wisdom givers and legacy holders to keep God’s people on track.  Proverbs says that grey hair is a sign of wisdom.  Generational characteristics say that the Millennium Generation get on better with their grandparents than their parents.  

Old age doesn’t come itself – it comes with wisdom, knowledge, experience, scars, and faith.  What are you doing with your old age?  Use it to bless others, and you will find it becomes less of curse for you. 

Amen 

Expectations of the Prophet - Advent 1

Reflection:  The Expectations of the Prophets – Hope for a broken world?

As Advent 2019 begins and we are left pondering how on earth it is this time of year again, I wanted to take just a few moments to pause and bring some context to this season.  Kind of like Easter that is lost in chocolate eggs and fluffy chicks and cheeky daffodils, the purpose of Christmas is lost in tinsel and busyness. In a world where the competition is to see who is ready first, and who will be raiding Asda shelves on Christmas Eve, we have to take a step back and remember as the cliché goes – the reason for the season. 

I deliberately started with the story of the fall – the story of Adam and Eve in the garden.  This story is designed to help us understand that the brokenness in the world around us is our own doing.  Of course we can blame evil influences, the devil indeed but the choice was and is always ours. We can choose to do good or to do evil.  We can choose to look after our own self-interest or we can choose to look after another. The story of the fall is powerful because it doesn’t allow us to lay the blame with another, and we see its counterpart in the temptations of Jesus in the wilderness. He was offered a similar choice to Adam and Eve, and he was able to resist the temptation.  Could we find that as our faith and relationship with God grows deeper we too might resist negative and evil influences and make good choices? 

However, the story of the fall of humankind, the separation that appeared between God and human beings is important because without an understanding of this, the need for a Saviour seems irrelevant. Regardless of whether the story of the Fall is fact or fiction, we know that stories help us understand reality, and the reality is that humans are not willing to be under the authority of another.  To be fair we are usually too busy beating up one another to be interested in God. 

And throughout the Old Testament we read the stories of tribal warfare, of king against king, nation against nation, families against families.  We read in these stories the realities of today – mental health issues, family breakdown, adultery, murder, lies, genocide but also courage, bravery, wisdom, adventure, and love.  We might not be able to pronounce the names or keep up with the twists and turns as we race through the various kings, but when we look for the themes of these stories, we know, we know we are all the same.  Capable of good and evil, of heroic faith and epic failure, and yet into the broken world of the Old Testament, such as we have it recorded, comes God. 

The prophets foretold him – the carol singers sing – throughout these stories of death and war, poverty and exile, homecomings and heroes (girls and boys) – the promise of a Messiah.  One who bear everything – the suffering servant as Isaiah paints him.  And you know, this is what gets me every year when I sit to ponder the Advent mystery.  God doesn’t send some knight in shining armour, or angel soldiers to march across the land.  He doesn’t send us Thor or Superman or Wonder Woman but a baby born to a couple of young people barely born themselves it seems.  

We might want God to come stomping into our world and sort it all out.  Maybe he could be like Thanos and wipe a section of the population just to give the rest of a chance.  Maybe he reverse the climate damage we have done and we might believe in him.  What if God showed up and simply blew our minds? 

God did show up and he does show up.  But the prophets told us that this Messiah wouldn’t be a bully, he wouldn’t crush us – rather he would suffer and die for us, in our place.  And to truly know us, and for us to truly know him, he became one of us – God Immanuel.  God with us! 

This is the wonderful message of this season, reflected in the gifts we give, the time we spend with family, the celebrations that surround.  Yet all of this is window dressing, because there are still children even in Blantyre going to bed hungry, there are families separated by war, poverty, abuse…

We are setting up our divisions and building our barricades, despite all we know of Northern Ireland and the troubles, or the holocaust and the suppression of Jews…

In Old Testament times the prophets pointed to a coming Messiah, a message of hope, of reconciliation, of mercy, of learning how to be truly human in the image of God…and now we are called like John the Baptist to prepare the way.  To make the paths smooth – enable people to find God, find faith, find hope in this life and the next. It is not our job to protect God or his message.  It is our job to make it as easy as possible for people to meet the God who loves them.  

We are the prophets.  We are the ones who are bringing good news – news worth hearing, news that will bring hope in a broken world.  We are not just offering a Merry Christmas greeting, we are offering a way of living that is full of hope, peace, love and joy.  

As you prepare for Christmas once again, think about you share the reason for the season.  Can we really put Christ back at the centre of our Christmas?  Change what we do to put him at the centre even if that means breaking family protocol.  If we don’t put Christ at the centre of his celebration, then we are missing the gift given, and no-one else will believe he is necessary.  

The prophets spoke of suffering and then victory.  Who will you be celebrating the ultimate victory with?  Remember this world is transient but God’s world is eternal. 

Be a prophet – spread the message of hope in a broken world.  You have it – share it.  Amen. 

Blessings

Sarah 💖 

The Church is family

I know that I am a dreamer and naïve.  I live in hope of the perfect family. Maybe not quite white picket fences and apples pies cooling on the window sill, but I live in hope of the perfect family.  When I plan Christmas in my head I have visions of Nigella style cooking, family gathering around in their colourful but casual outfits, wine with no calories or hangovers, and laughter filling the air.  When Christmas actually happens…well lets just say the wine still happens! 

When it comes to the church family I am still a dreamer and naïve.  I live in hope of the perfect family.  A family that will love and support one another.  A family that will not judge one another, where you can find yourself in tragedy or disaster and still feel loved and wanted.  A family that embraces, a family that holds and supports, a family that laughs together, a family that spends time together. A family that will not stab you in the back.  A family that will look out for your best interests rather than seek individual glory or fame.  A family that will show the courtesy of respecting your space, your role, your position, knowing that you will do likewise.  For whatever is done by you as a member of the family, you can expect to be done in return. 

Family, however, are never perfect.  Families are made up of human beings who have good days, grumpy days, selfless and selfish days.  Days when sleep has been good and other days when caffeine is a must.  So we cannot expect the church family to be perfect either.  We are not family because of where we worship or the minister we follow.  We are family because we are children of God.  And no child is more important than another child.  I have two children that are mine through procreation and the wonder of childbirth.  I have a child who is mine because she chooses to be a child of mine.  I love them all and wouldn’t dream of sacrificing one over another…they are all very different – one even comes with a Yorkshire accent!  

So it is with God.  We are all his children, none of us is his favourite.  To be fair, I’m happy to give that particular title to Jesus and he sure earned it! Yet even Jesus said that we would do even greater things than him.  So it isn’t about titles or who is more spiritual or more clever or…it is about recognising that we are brothers and sisters in the family of God.  And for me, that means working together not against each other.  Competition is not of God, collaboration and community is of God.  Father-Son-Holy Spirit – different yet the same, collaborative and in community. 

 Personally, I have always wanted a church family where mistakes are absolved and helped, not judged and hindered, where all ages love and welcome one another, where we would socialise together not just worship, where we would bless each other without competing for glory or recognition, where we would listen for God not tell God what to do…where we might bring hope to families throughout the communities we serve.  There is a better way, and we can be family even as bunch of totally different people! We are the family of God - and one day our home will be together in the house that God built...😘

Every Blessing

Sarah 

It is ok to not be ok! Honest.

This week I have shared something within the Devotional of the Hamilton Advertiser that is from the heart and reflects the reality I see around me.  There are so many people who are not okay, and yet play the game each and every day.  They are always fine or ‘nae bad’.  But perhaps, if we can be more honest we would be okay.  Faith is so important to me, and this past year has proven to me God’s faithfulness, and challenged my superficial facets of faith.  I am not there yet in totally getting it all - in fact sometimes I feel like a complete beginner understanding God’s love and passion for me.  But I know that no matter how dark the world becomes, the light of Christ shines and leads me forward.  And if he does it for me, who has let him down and failed him, who has gone her own way and done her own thing, who has not always chosen the way of Christ, how much more can he do it for any of us?  None of us are ever truly lost to God even when we cannot find ourselves.  It is okay to not be okay, but I pray you know that God is faithful, even when we are faithless.

What I put in the paper this week!  May it bless someone in His name.

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. Hebrews 12:1-2

Well 2019 has been a bit of different year for me, a year where I have taken the time to ‘honour my life’. 2018 was a tough year with lots of hurts, disappointments and for a time my mental health was in very poor shape.   Having struggled through Christmas I decided in the New Year to take steps to find my way back to my cheeky, optimistic, creative self.  I have surprised myself and all that I have achieved.  To be honest I never thought that by September I would be running 10km races for fun or weigh 4 stone less than the start of the year and be a size 10.  Please can I reassure those who keep asking if I’m not well – I am fine.  But one thing I have learnt folks is that we need to look after our mental health.  The physical health is important and it is part of the journey to better mental health.  However, it has taken a year to find my way back from my darkest place, and like many others, I still battle the symptoms, far more often than I’d care to admit.  Christians, sometimes, come out with those well-meaning platitudes or wonder how you can have faith and be in a dark place.  I want to reassure you today that if you are struggling with those dark, hurting places especially if you are good at managing or hiding them, that God will carry you through. I know God carried me through, but He journeyed with me through the valley of the shadow of evil rather than lift me out.  We live in this world, and that includes all that is wrong with it as well as all that is wonderful.  Please keep putting one foot in front of the other, and remember ‘it is okay to not be ok.’. God bless you.

Good Day?

I came across this poem in the book Hearing the Stranger by retired Bishop Michael Hare Duke (1994) and I wanted to share it.  It makes me think especially as it has been a hard week in some ways, taking me at times through hard conversations...it encouraged me and I hope it does you.

Was it a good day?
That depends on the shape of the ideal.
What I’d set my heart on,
slipped out of my grasp.
The meeting I planned was cancelled;
I wanted to impress someone
and he looked the other way.
“No access” blocked
the road I hoped to travel.
The weather was just the sort
that makes my head ache.
Definitely no the blueprint                  
for a red-letter day.

But if I turn the calendar,
with a frustrated flip
or scrumple the date
and throw it in the bin,
rubbishing the day,
I’ve missed the point.

It did not fill my fantasy.
It gave instead space to discover
new dimensions;
a chance to change direction
and not get hung up with resentment.
Not a perfect day - but good enough to grow in.

I hope you have a good day but even if you don’t there are silver linings somewhere.  Look for them!
God bless,
Love Sarah