Holy Week -Good Friday Because of Love

 Prop - Lit Candle

It is such a poignant day today, and one where we might want to keep vigil between the hours of 12noon and 3pm.  It is such a significant day where we mark the death of Jesus and call it Good. 

I genuinely hope you have been able to find time in the week to follow the Holy Week story.  But just in case let me give you the premise for this year’s contemplation and reflection:

When we focus on where the blame lies we make it all about us.  

When we focus on love we make it all about Jesus. 

As Peter writes:

For you know what was paid to set you free from the worthless manner of life handed down by your ancestors.  It was not something that can destroyed such as silver or gold; it was the costly sacrifice of Christ, who was like a lamb without defect or flaw...through him you believe in God, who raised him from death and gave him glory; and so your faith and hope are fixed on God. 

That sacrifice was given in love.  Behind all that happens, the suffering and the tragic, the cruelty and the abuse, lies a deep love.  For only love could have kept Jesus present through it all.  Even in the temptations of the wilderness the devil tells us that he knows the angels would come if Jesus but called them. Only love could give him the dignity to stay the course, that even as he died love poured out in forgiveness. 

So as we travel through these stories, the texts should speak for themselves.  However I encourage you to use your imagination and to have the courage to be present.  See how much you are loved. And though your love for Christ would not see him crucified, know his love for you is greater than death. 

The readings run from John 18:1 - 19:42 so keep Bibles handy.  

If you haven’t lit your candle yet - please do so and put it somewhere safe, ideally where you can see it or be aware of it. 

Let us pray

Holy God, We come humble because we know we don’t deserve the love you pour out upon us. 

We come in trepidation because we know that this event, significant though it is, breaks our heart. 

Like Peter we want to run weeping.

Like Judas we throw our hands up in despair and plead forgiveness. 

And yet though we know we are not innocent, we come in gratitude to thank you for your great love, your great mercy, your infinite patience and your willingness to fight for us. 

Lord Jesus, we invite you to be our Lord and Teacher this day.  That as we witness your arrest, your trial, your crucifixion, your death, we would take all that we have learnt of you and ourselves especially in these past days, and look beyond the words and immerse ourselves in the story.  

Holy Spirit, give us the courage to be truly present.  Give us the wisdom to see the truth and to embrace it.  And bless us as we too keep watch with the disciples.

Lord in your mercy, hear our prayers.  Amen.  

Reading 1: John 18:1-14 The Arrest of Jesus 

Reading 2: John 18:15-27 The Denials of Peter

Reading 3: John 18: 28-38 Jesus Before Pilate

Reflective Pause

How many of you love watching a crime drama, solving a good who dunnit on tv or in a book, just to be surprised at the ending?  I grew up on Perry Mason and the like and part of me wanted to be a lawyer.  Turns out I’m too nice and too lazy an academic! We often read these as if thinking the events just came together by chance.  But throughout the texts we have studied this week and indeed through Lent there has been much in the way of planning.  

When Judas returns his thirty coins and asks to have no part in what happened, we know for sure how developed the plan of the religious authorities were. Nothing happened by chance.  Even the timing was carefully orchestrated so that Pilate would be afraid of an uprising and do as he was told - manipulated by clever people and mob rule. 

Jesus knew his hour was approaching and then come.  The signs were all there and he was close to God his Father, and therefore able to interpret what is happening.  For Jesus this path that he was on was necessary.  There was no other way.  We might want there to be another way.  We might be hurting so bad like Peter that we want to run away.  We might be like Judas and want no part in this no more.  But we must stay the course, even if we withdraw to the sidelines.  And we come with the benefit of knowing what happens next.  Yet like I couldn’t become a lawyer overnight, like a baby doesn’t just arrive by stork, like love isn’t a bed of roses, we have to face the truth that Jesus doesn’t just walk away from this.  

We have a precious invitation to watch, and to know that all that happens next is because we are so loved, that God gave his one and only Son that whosoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life. 

See your candle light flicker, take a breath, and prepare yourself for what happens next as the stage is set for the final act...

Reading 4: John 18:38b-19:16 Jesus sentenced to death 

Reading 5: John 19:16b-19:30 Jesus dies 

I invite you to blow out your candle and to watch the smoke as it drifts, and just to pause as you remember.  In the silence feel the emptiness, the grief of those who loved him so, the shock of the disciples and the fear and delight from those who watched.  

A prayerful reflection by Rev Roddy Hamilton

When the alleluias fall silent

and the story comes to a stop

and the words fade out mid-sentence

and even the stones keep quiet

and those who still find there is something to say

shout for the wrong side

then you know

the Lord of Life

has finished the parable

with one final sentence

'It is finished'

and the tragedy bows its final bow in the world

and is entombed

all that remains

is the fear

that we may never find our voices again

and we will forget

how to speak of love

now the word

has been silenced

and the story

run out of endings

Allow the seed of hope to grow because Jesus said this was not the end.  That it was necessary but not the end.  Even in our grief where all seems dark - the light of God still burns. We know there is more to follow and on Sunday morning I invite you to light the candle again and for a moment in the calm, rejoice.  

Reading: John 19:31-42

Let us close in prayer and this service is the one service I close without a blessing, as Christ is laid in the tomb.  

Closing Prayer

Lord, as you are laid to rest and we go on with our lives, we pray that we would leave this time of worship filled with grace.  That we would look upon your people with gentleness, that we would be compassionate with the hurting, responding to the cries of the innocent unjustly punished.  But more that anything that we would know how much we are loved, and in that knowledge be confident to live our lives with faith, courage and hope, even in the darkest of times. 

May we be reverent and thoughtful and continue in prayer, keeping watch til the stone is rolled and we rejoice once more. In your name we pray.  Amen.  

Keep watch for Sunday comes. 

Holy Week -Maundy Thursday - Blamed or Loved?

 Prop - Water and towel.

Reading: John 13:1-17, 31b-35

Reflection:  

This text is so challenging and perhaps I’m grateful that we are not in church this year! Cards on the table I have never had my feet washed or washed another’s feet.  People have gathered around the communion table and washed each other’s hand with a wet wipe.  I have had a willing volunteer wash another’s feet on the chancel.  But nope - I’m with Peter.  Of course some of you are super cool with feet.  To be honest my feet are awesome - in that they carry the rest of me and cope with the running as well as the walking, the standing and the nervous pacing.  However, where my hands have starred in publications, my feet would not be welcome!  Yup - I have been a hand model! 

Of course it is easy to get lost in the action and avoid the attitude in this story.  When Jesus did this he didn’t mean for there to an annual foot washing service in Church, by which I’m not suggesting we shouldn’t.  But if it is the focus we miss the true beauty of this story. 

Think about it for just a moment.  What is the Church known for?  Not your local congregation but the Church as a whole?  How many of you jumped immediately to the negative?  Boring, irrelevant, always looking for money, fighting and conflict, hypocrisy and so on.  That’s not what we are meant to be about.  Religion tends to tick all those boxes because religion is about the window dressing.  Religion adds rules, regulations, laws and a culture that often suffocates - children shall be seen and not heard, wearing your Sunday best, women in hats, the Laird in his balcony seats and so on.  Nowadays we are much more relaxed but this history still dogs us today. 

What strikes me in this event is the verses under the heading the New Commandment.  ‘If you have love for one another, then everyone will know that you are my disciples.’

When we think what Church is what should spring to mind is love.  Not sickly sweet love, or the kind of love that is fleeting, but that deep abiding love that even death can’t destroy.  Love after all is eternal.  And when Paul writes his wonderful passage on love Jesus is at the heart of it.  

This event teaches us something ever so important about how we are to live our lives as Christians.  Now matter how big the silver spoon in our mouth that we were born with we are to lift that broom, clean that toilet, hold the hand of the beggar on the street, indeed wash their feet. Here Jesus gives an example of love that is all encompassing.  No matter who you are, what you have or don’t have, you are capable of that kind of love.  And that love might call for you to be stripped of all dignity but if that love brings glory to God then you are doing just fine.

This event paints the identity of Jesus for all to see.  What the disciples saw - Lord and Teacher and indeed he was. But right back at the start we heard that Jesus knew he was from God and to God he would return.  He was confident in his identity.  And he knew that his hour was at hand. Often the dying feel the need or desire to comfort the living.  And he wanted to do one last task for his dear friends who he loved so much.

And secure in his identity as loved one of God he was willing to shed his dignity - take off his clothes - and take on the role of a servant and wash the feet of his students.  It was such a menial task that not even male Jew servants had to do it.  Women, children and non-Jew males - yes.  Maybe, just maybe a wife might wash the feet of her husband, maybe for his birthday - you heard it here first ladies or a student for a teacher.  But a teacher for his student - oh my giddy Aunt. 

Peter flips as he is so uncomfortable and within that dialogue we sympathise with his discomfort.  And it presents Jesus with a teaching opportunity.  Whether he meant that or not we don’t know but it was an opportunity to give his final instructions.  He knew they would be grieving in the days to come and indeed after his ascension.  As I have washed your feet, wash one another’s feet.  As I have loved you, love one another.  As the Father forgives you, forgive one another.  God - always the one who initiates and we are called to respond. 

And there is room for everyone - we just choose whether we walk in the light or the darkness.  In the story we are reminded more than once that Judas is trouble.  Jesus clearly knew but he doesn’t stop him.  In fact he washes his feet as well.  Jesus washed the feet of the one who betray him.  Just hold that thought for a moment. 

Would you let Jesus wash your feet?  Would you feel like a fraud or a fake like Judas?  Would you be uncomfortable like Peter, flustered and embarrassed?  Would you be relaxed, knowing that Jesus is always an out of the box thinker and to be honest pure weird?  Would you be in stunned silence?  Or if after Peter just smart enough to keep your mouth shut?

Contemplate the bowl of water before you.  Stick your hand in the water - what would it be like to kneel before another and wash their feet?  Pause for a moment and picture the scene - either as Jesus or the one getting your feet washed.  How do you feel?  If you were Jesus would you wash the feet of Judas?  Pause and consider these. 

Like Peter we are happy to serve our Lord but we are often reluctant to let him serve us.  Holy Week and all it contains is God serving us.  The Lord and Teacher, God’s Son kneels and washes our feet by stripping himself of all dignity and hanging on the tree.  Today strikes the core of who we are to God.  We paint a picture of ourselves as the bad guys.  We sing the hymns - ‘I hear my mocking voice call out among the scoffers.’ 

But tonight reminds us that God doesn’t blame us.  He loves us.  As I have loved you so you must love one another.  Even from the cross Jesus prays - ‘Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.’. Only love can say that.  There are theological debates to be had on ransoms, atonement, substitution and appeasing the wrath of God.  And we might never truly find a way through that but none of us can rule out love.  

This new commandment is not new in a way. It is genuinely as old as the hills.  But what Jesus calls love is richer, deeper, more extravagant that the simple, often superficial love we carry.  Even Jesus said that greater love has no one but this to lay down their life for their friend.  Paul says in Romans we might be willing to do that.  Tertullian wrote of the great love that Christians had for one another.  During the plagues Christians were renowned for staying to help - always being the last to flee. 

What is the Church known for?  Lord and Teacher, I pray it is for love without dignity, compassion without price, welcome without prejudice and Lord, may it start with me. 

What is Christ known for?  Pure and precious love that sees me as I am and prays forgiveness over me.  

When we focus on where the blame lies we make it all about us.  When we focus on love we make it all about Jesus. 

Can we be courageous enough to focus on the wonderful, awe-inspiring, mind-blowing love that is Jesus Christ?  As we share in the Passion narratives tomorrow - follow the love trail and be grateful and blessed by how much you are loved.  And may that love help us truly love one another. 

For a moment, just rest in the knowledge that Jesus loves you.  Maybe the wee verse if you remember it could be your mantra - 

Jesus loves me - this I know - for the bible tells me so.  

Yes Jesus loves me.  

Pause and let those words remind you that Jesus loves you with a rich, deep, powerful, life giving, life changing love. And to him you are worth it even if you don’t think so. How does that make you feel?  Talk with Jesus about it. Pause and pray! 

Prayer and Blessing

Lord Jesus, 

We are just blown away by how much you love us.  How much you love me.  And to be honest I can’t get my head around it.  It is so much easier to blame myself and those like me for your death.  And i know as i listen tomorrow to the story again, I will want to weep and shout and plead.  I will beg forgiveness.  But Lord you don’t blame me.  You love me.  Lord how can that be?

Who am I that you care for me?  Lord the psalmist was so right - what is man that you care for him?  Lord, in this messed up world, where we hurt each other so readily with our words and our actions help us love one another.  In our grief and loss, touched by the sorrow of death and struggle, Lord may your deep abiding love for us enable us to reach out and comfort one another without prejudice or judgement.  This week reminds us more than any that we are equal in the sight of God.  None of us are worthy of the love you have shown and yet that love took you to the cross.  That love let you overlook our stupidity, our stubbornness, our arrogance and pray those immortal words - Father forgive them.  

Lord and teacher may we known as the church of the towel and the bowl, worried not about our dignity and status, loving without limit.  Lord and teacher may we known as the church that forgives even when we are betrayed, excluded or crucified.   Lord and teacher may we known as the Church that would be truly worthy to be your bride.  

As we look towards Golgotha may we focus on your love that we might truly appreciate your sacrifice and truly rejoice at the empty tomb.  In your name we pray.  

Bless us this night with peace and love, 

and open our eyes to the opportunities to love with towel in hand! 

And the blessing of God almighty, rest upon you and remain with you now and forevermore.  Amen

Holy Week Wednesday - Bread and Betrayal

Today’s prop is a slice of bread - not for eating.  

 Reading: John 13:21-33, 36-38

Reflection:

For whom the bell tolls...a dark phrase that sums up where we are heading.  Can you hear them ringing in the background?  Deep and sonorous the bell rings faintly but the closer we get to Friday the louder we hear it.  This journey is fixed, planned and everything is in place.  Today the bell tolls and Judas and Peter feel it resonating.  One of them will respond willingly to its call, the other - well the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.  

Jesus knows.  How heartbreaking to know that someone you have journeyed with over three years will be the one to hand you over to the authorities.  Despite everything Judas saw and experienced over the years, the miracles, the teachings, the welcome to outcasts and the healing of common folks, and still for thirty pieces of silver he would turn his back on Jesus.  Jesus knows and Judas knows that Jesus knows.  How heartbreaking for Judas.  Why didn’t Jesus stop him?  We paint Judas as evil and the author says that at the point the bread is dipped and given to Judas Satan enters Judas.  We know that Satan had promised to return - at the end of the time in wilderness the devil left in order to return. Did his presence harden Judas’ heart like Pharaohs was hardened against the Israelites?  

For Jesus the bell tolled as Judas took the bread and then left. For us bread is a strong symbol of life.  We break bread at communion as Jesus did at the last supper.  We know that Jesus is the bread of life.  John focussed not on the last supper but the washing of the disciples feet.  But bread still features - Jesus gave the bread of life to Judas and he took it and left, going out into the night.  The wee aside that it was night reminds the reader that Jesus had spoken that those who walk in the darkness will surely stumble and fall.  

Too many of us know the feeling of betrayal, or perhaps the feeling of being let down.  The disappointment, the sorrow, the pain cuts deep and healing can be a long road.  I don’t want you to lose yourself in the past but for a moment try and remember the feeling rather than the cause.  

Before this week ends all who gathered together, all those feet he washed will have scattered in fear.  Break up your piece of bread into smaller pieces as you ponder the relationships that are breaking for Jesus around this dinner table. Pause and spend a little time at that table from the perspective of Jesus, knowing the pain he felt. 

Keep your bread pieces safe because you will need them again shortly. 

As Jesus sits at the table, his disciples shocked at the revelation despite the heavy hints Jesus has been dropping all night.  Honestly these guys do not do subtle!  But sometimes we just don’t want to believe the truth before our eyes.  We ignore it so readily.  This time last year none of us wanted to believe that this virus would be a serious threat to our country, indeed our world.  It was seen as a problem elsewhere but in the early days we operated with a little arrogance and the age old ‘it’ll never happen to me’.  Hindsight is awesome but where would we be if we had taken it more seriously and accepted the truth. 

And so Peter’s betrayal is hard but we accept it because it was ever so human.  If Judas’ betrayal was motivated by greed or zeal, then Peter’s was self-preservation.  He just wasn’t ready to die.  And we all fake it from time to time.  Bluff, appearing more confident than we actually are.  But Jesus knew that Peter, loud and loyal as he was would also betray him.  How heartbreaking to know one of your dearest friends would deny he even knew you.  For Jesus the bell tolls as he tells Peter - ‘I am telling you the truth: before the cock crows you will say three times you do not know me.’  Spoiler alert but this is exactly what happens. 

Betrayal happens for any number of reasons.  We don’t even always know why.  But it can come from anywhere.  

The one on the fringes who never felt he belonged - for greed, spite, zeal;

The one who was right at the centre of it all - for self-preservation;

The people who were his own but they received him not - mob rule;

The leader who should have defended the innocent - fear of loss of control

The religious authorities who should have known the truth - fear of losing power

None of us are innocent and we cannot lay the blame at one doorstep.  From the inner circle of friends to the furthest reaches of religious and civil law - Jesus was betrayed. 

Yet the only one called a betrayer is Judas.  Did he have a choice? He was certainly capable of great regret so remember he is human. And when it comes to Peter, well we are all capable of good intentions.

When it comes to our faith journey how many good intentions have you got?  Reading your bible every day, prayer times, quiet times, learning more about faith through study, getting involved in worship or community support, loving others especially those who have hurt you, actually loving yourself and so on.  That list is not exhaustive. Take a moment to consider how Jesus, the bread of life nourishes us.  That in the breaking of bread we are reminded that we are forgiven.  Share with God your good intentions.  Be prepared for him to call you out on them but it is not the end of the road if he does. Remember on Peter, God built his church.  Peter didn’t set out to betray Jesus, and Jesus promises that Peter will follow him a little later.  Our good intentions are genuine just sometimes like Peter a little impossible to keep right now! Give God a chance to help you focus on the right ones. Keep it real.

Tomorrow we find the heart of Holy Week as we explore love.  Even in the midst of the angst and the darkness creeping in, Jesus will bring light and love.  God is present even as the bell tolls louder. 

I encourage you to take your broken bread and scatter it in your garden, your park, the church garden - symbolic of how the friends of Jesus scattered.  Ask God to help you stay present as we go into Maundy Thursday and Good Friday, even though it is hard.  For we know that even in the hour of darkness comes the hour of glorification.  We still have hope.  

Prayer

Forgiving God, we come into your presence deeply humble because we know we are full of good intentions.  We make promises like Peter.  We promise we will show up for you but then we get distracted.  And before we know it the opportunity has been and gone.  And we promise to do better in the future. 

Lord, may we truly repent of our sins, weeping like Peter as the cock crowed the third time.  May we appreciate the hurt and the damage our sins do to you.  We are so grateful for your endless mercy and yet like the woman caught in adultery - forgiven but sent with the words ‘go and sin no more’.  Forgive us our sins and with the psalmist we pray:  Create in me a clean heart. 

As we draw ever closer to Good Friday, we pray for the wisdom to understand and the empathy to draw alongside the characters, not looking for bad guys and heroes but seeing human beings.  Confused, complicated, challenging people just like us.

We pray for those we have hurt, the friends, the family, the colleagues we have let down.  For the times we didn’t show up or we looked the other way, whether through fear, self-preservation or greed.  

And hard as it may be we pray for those who have let us down, who have betrayed us.  We know that some will like Judas and there will be no repair to relationships but Jesus, let there be peace and healing in our hearts.  Others are like Peter, and we pray for the grace and courage to allow relationships to heal.  May we be willing to build bridges not walls, just as your cross is a bridge between heaven and earth. 

Lord as you love us, forgive us, welcome us, may we extend love to others, especially those we struggle to love because of pain, disappointment and betrayal.  Lord, may your church be known as a place of healing, forgiveness and love, not anger, conflict and pain.  

In the name of Jesus who cast light into the darkness and glorifies God we pray.  

Lord bless us with your presence, that we who betrayed you are still welcomed, loved and forgiven by the Holy God.

God loves you very much. 

May you be blessed and in turn be a blessing to all whom you meet. 

And the blessing of God almighty, Father, Son and Holy Spirit rest upon you and remain with you now and forevermore. Amen

Tuesday Holy Week - Jesus hides?

Welcome to Tuesday of Holy Week.  Have a small item that fits in your hand when you close your hand.  

Reading: John 12:31-50

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+12%3A31-50&version=GNT

Reflection:

There is much in this passage that we could reflect on.  We could debate theological doctrine, predestination, imagery of light and dark, lifted up and death, belief and unbelief, and although they will feature in our reflection - it is the person of Jesus I wanted to focus on.  What really struck me in the reading for today, which obviously we have been building up to in these past weeks is what Jesus did.  Not what he said - important as it is, but what he did.

‘After Jesus said this, he went off and hid himself from them.’ 

Ponder for yourself for a moment why did Jesus hide himself away.  Look at the item in your hand and close your hand around it and take a few moments to pause and consider for yourself why Jesus hid himself from the people.

What did you come up with?  Don’t worry if you didn’t think of something or if you thought of something I haven’t even considered. What is important is the time we spend truly getting to know God through his word. 

Many of you have heard the expression or indeed used it - I wish I could stop the world and get off for a while.  The problem is even when we are grieving or going through significant life changes the world keeps turning, our responsibilities as a family member, a colleague, a friend, a church or charity participant, indeed the needs of our physical bodies just keep coming at us.  We might not be able to stop the world (if you know how please let me know!) but we can learn from Jesus and hid ourselves away.  But before you get too excited by this, let’s build a little context.

Jesus was at the last possible moment of stepping up or stepping away, so he steps back.  It is not a moment of fear but a moment of preparation. He is about to head into the toughest time of his earthly life.  We know he feels everything like we do.  He wept at the grave of Lazarus, he was lovingly frustrated over Jerusalem’s rejection of him, he loved his friends and he was compassionate on so many people throughout the gospels.  And to be honest, he had to have a sense of humour as well or he would have thrown in the towel...

So this week we remember that Jesus was human and he could hurt emotionally, spiritually and physically.  Jesus hid himself away to prepare himself for what lay ahead.  He was not going into this sacrifice blind or arrogant. He knew he would be betrayed from closest friend and beyond. He knew that for the majority of the people who witnessed his sacrifice would know nothing of its depth or eternal consequence.  

No matter how hard he had tried, no matter the miracles, no matter the words, the passion, the story telling - even his own disciples barely grasped the enormity of what would happen.  Only in the light of the resurrection would they truly understand.  Hints of this frustration are found in the Old Testament passages John chooses to include in his Gospel.  After that anointing at Bethany, and the smell of the nard still wafting about, the cheers of the crowd as he rode into town on the donkey, the Greeks arriving and a reminder that he is following God the Father’s plan for the whole world,  his sense of disappointment and hope fighting for the win, he pleads for them to believe in the light then he hides himself away. 

Jesus needed time with God his Father, without the distraction of the people, away from the bounty hunters and the Pharisees, and away from the confused disciples.  

Put it this way.  Exhausted pastors are worse than useless because pastoring is a whole body experience - draining physical, mental and spiritual resources.  Jesus needed to hide himself away as preparation.  And in acknowledging this we can grasp something of how difficult this week was, and how real the sacrifice.  

When was the last time you hid yourself away with God?  As human beings we often push on, keep going, put on the brave face, be stoic.  Trust me I do this too.  But sometimes in order to step up rather than step away we need to step back into a deeper moment with God. 

We are afraid of hiding ourselves away. Sometimes we are afraid of what God might tell us.  Sometimes we are afraid that the world we hold together will collapse without us at the helm for an hour, a day, a weekend, a week... We feel guilty because we are responsible for.... 

Let me repeat what Jesus did.

Jesus was at the last possible moment of stepping up or stepping away so he steps back.  It is not a moment of fear but a moment of preparation.  

When we are at that last possible moment of stepping up or stepping away, have we stepped back first, especially, particularly when we think we don’t have time?

Perhaps you are good at this - thank him for that relationship of trust.  Perhaps you fall into these moments, crashing rather than arriving rather like Elijah in the cave of despair.  Seek the Spirit’s help to shape your life so that you can step back well and then step up to whatever Christ calls you too.  Remember Jesus embraced his humanity and with that comes the need to hide in God.  It is a sign of strength and faith to step back first.  Then God can get a word in edgewise - be it a word of discernment, encouragement, blessing, or even correction.  

Take a moment to pray with God, inviting him to help you find ways appropriate to you to step back, to hide away in him.  God loves you.  As Jesus prepared for what lay ahead, take time to prepare for what lies ahead as we approach Good Friday.  Holding your item, focus on it, close your hand over it and pray.  

I hope you have been blessed in your prayer time.  How might you have more of this ‘hideaways’? 

Prayer

Lord God, 

You are over all things, through all things, in all things, and there is nowhere we can go to hide from your presence.  But Lord, we pray that we would be willing to hide ourselves in you.  Lord, when the world around us threatens to crush us, as the weight of responsibilities breaks our back and suffocates our souls, hide us in your holy presence.  Remind us that your burden is light and your yoke is easy.  Forgive us when we try and take on everything in our own strength.  Let us be like Jesus - stepping back in order to be able to step up. Welcome us Lord with open arms and be our rock, our refuge, our haven.

Lord Jesus, teach me how to hide myself in God my Father like you did.  Not in fear of the world, not through apathy, nor through some selfish desire, but to be restored, strengthened, encouraged, inspired and blessed.  Lord, help me to persuade others to take time to hide in order to prepare ourselves to step out in faith. 

Holy Spirit, teach me how to abide in you and not to see that as time wasted.  Help me see what is important, that even as time runs short, as the pressures increase and the call of earthly glory threatens to trump divine presence, that I need to abide in order to work.   

Lord of all people, there are many who need a safe space to hide, and we pray for those who cannot find them.  Lord, be a very real presence in their lives, and help them know that you know what it is to be hunted, persecuted, tried and killed.  You are not a distant God.  Please Lord help us raise our voices against injustice, to pray for our persecuted brothers and sisters and where possible advocate for change.  Bless your children throughout the world, and encourage us this Easter be part of the love revolution. 

In your name and for your world you came to save - we pray.  

Blessing 

God loves you so very much. 

Be light in our dark times. 

Be love and be loved. 

Step back to step up

Knowing that God is with you in the silence and the chaos.

And the blessing of God almighty, Father, Son and Holy Spirit rest upon you and remain with you now and forevermore.  Amen. 

Holy Week Monday Reflection - More than just a smell

The Perfume of Mary - Worship in Action

This reflection encourages you to use the smell of a perfume or aftershave as a prop.  

Reading: John 12:1-11

Reflection:

The time is drawing near and as the man with the sandwich board reminds the passing shoppers - ‘the end is nigh’.  And where does the hurting and the condemned man go but to friends? A safe haven when the world becomes dark and heavy with tension.  Yet nowhere is truly safe, but perhaps for a wee while there is illusion of normalcy as friends gather around the table. A celebration of life and yet also a wake, a purvey, a last supper of sorts.  

Lazarus who was in the grave sits with the man who faces the grave. A little scared, joyful, grateful yet uncertain.  Martha once again is scurrying about going from kitchen to table to kitchen, feeding the menfolk.  The conversation is scattered and rambling and no one feels truly at peace as they recline to eat - the normal eating posture, with their feet stretched out at some distance from their heads.  Conversations peppered with fear as the hunt is on for Jesus and even Lazarus because he is an anomaly upsetting the carefully balanced relationship between Rome and Jerusalem.  

Suddenly, the air is filled with a sweet sweet smell.  Its fragrance catches the attention of the room and all look for its source.    It is the smell of passion, of romance, of wealth yet is it out of place, indeed unexpected.

Breathe deep of the scent before you (carefully).  How evocative is the smell?  How out of place is it at this moment in time?  What does the smell awaken within?  How do you react to it?

Push the push button here as ponder the reactions the smell evokes at the time, and in you.  

The pure nard, worth a year’s wages, imported from India where the best nard comes from drips from the feet of Jesus as Mary resumes her favourite location - at his feet.  Kings are anointed on their heads, the dead are anointed from their feet up.  As the shock settles in the room, Martha gazes in wonder at the actions of her sister, part enthralled, part holding her breath in fear.  

Mary, meanwhile, is lost in her worship of Jesus and unaware of the drama unfolding around her.  Her hair falls around her shoulders, her tresses unwound only for her husband and or as a distraction in grief, fall over his feet and she wipes up the perfume with her hair.  Touching yet not touching him.  It is unashamed love spilling out from her very centre, as she worships him, and yet prophetically speaks of his death and burial. What she does is announce that he is the Messiah, son of the living God, just as Peter had done in words previously. Actions speak louder than words perhaps, for she truly committed to the action of worship. 

When was the last time you worshipped Jesus with unashamed love and abandonment?  Where you defied the social norms and danced like no one was watching, sang like no one was listening, wept like no one could see the mess, laughed in holy joy til your sides split, gave your very best without counting the cost...

Perhaps pause for a moment and consider that moment that comes to mind, or consider what that moment might look like for you?  I’m a dancer for God - not talented but as the music washes over me that’s my honest moment of worship, my connection point. 

Storming into the moment comes the harsh words of Judas, breaking, indeed shattering the silence as the room lets go of its breath.  Again Mary is in the spotlight and called out for her behaviour, and again the Lord defends her.  This time she is not just lazy, she is wasteful, a thoughtless woman through and through.  But not to God. 

To God she is amazing. She is insightful.  She is faith-filled.  She is generous. She sees the eternal not just the present.  She worshipped in love, with extravagance, with passion, and even after Jesus left for Jerusalem the smell lingers in the air, causing her to pray and worship some more.  As for the others in the room - where they inspired, blessed, anxious, or with hindsight able to praise her for her worship? How might they have felt at the time or afterwards?

For how long the smell carries with Jesus we know not but if you have quality perfume you will know the scent lasts, clinging to skin and fabric.  The smell for Jesus evokes feelings of love, of faithfulness, of worship, of hope.  Perhaps he was further emboldened that even the people who had followed Jesus and disciples to Bethany didn’t report the presence of Jesus to the authorities.  In amongst the tension, the impending death sentence Jesus knew was coming, there is a moment of beauty that encourages and strengthens him for the road ahead. As flashes of the scent caught him time and time again - did that love shown, remind him that his Father loved him dearly also?

As we worship God, as we bring prayers of gratitude, as we look for his blessings on our lives and the lives of those we know, we too are encouraged and strengthen for the road ahead.  Pray for the strength to face our foes not with condemnation but with love.  Pray that we would never put down another for extravagant worship - just because we don’t get it. Pray that God’s church, especially where we have stripped it to its bare components would become extravagant and fulsome again, that the love we readily show ourselves and our families would be evident in our faith as well.  

Prayer 

Lord Jesus, 

As we read about Mary and her expensive nard we are inspired and afraid at the same time. You truly are worthy of all worship and praise.  And Lord we do bow before you in humble adoration.  We are without a doubt blessed because of you and your sacrificial love. 

And yet we know that too often we are reluctant to be extravagant in our worship. We keep our hands in our pockets, we keep our feet firmly planted and years of conditioning allow us just to clap our hands.  Lord, we are so afraid to let go and truly worship for fear of embarrassment or making a fool of ourselves.  Yet Lord, those moments when we sing out our hearts, when our bodies move to the rhythm without care for style or shape, when our hands rise above our heads, when our generosity to you blesses those around us, you are worshipped.  Occasionally Lord help us be extravagant and to worship you like no one but you is present. 

May we be insightful this week, that we might embrace the pain and the sorrow, that when joy comes we truly rejoice again at the empty tomb.  May we be honest that we know that we should be willing to give our all no matter the cost, because your generosity and love is without limit in return.  May we be gentle with those we don’t understand and know that you welcome us all whether we are faith filled or feeling lost on the edges.  Lord, help us look for your light and come into your holy presence forgiven and loved. May we love and worship in return without fear or constraints.  In your name we pray.  Amen.  

Blessing

God loves you so very much. 

May the sweet smell of God’s presence 

Touch your soul, heal your brokenness and restore your heart and mind. 

And the blessing of God almighty Father, Son and Holy Spirit rest upon you and remain with you now and forevermore.  Amen

Identity Crisis! The Surprising Cure

 There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his.  Hebrews 4:9-10

Sometimes life just has a way of crushing you and you don’t even realise it until the burden is lifted - even just a little.  Don’t worry this isn’t one of those moan fests though sometimes you need one of those too. I guess it is just some observations from an optimistic idealist who is apparently too nice for her own good, a diplomat but occasionally fiery and fierce!  However, I also believe that I have a responsibility to share the hard stuff as well because all too often its the ‘perfect’ image that we share.  Mental health is too important and confession is good for the soul. 

Last week I got to the point of ‘I can’t be bothered’. I just couldn’t summon up the desire to write a service never mind record one. I didn’t feel like a minister, just worn out and blue.  I contemplated using the material being provided nationally (which is excellent) but I knew I was just being lazy because I can provide worship.  Eventually I did get it done and it was fine, because of Himself.  But it was my line in the sand.  I knew I had to take some quality down time.  

I took the weekend off. Did nothing on the Saturday that counted as work or housework. Deliberately. With family or alone; I baked cakes, I watched a movie, I finished a novel, I went for a long run (7 miles for me is a long run!), I played a card game with all the family - I did all the things I wanted to do.  Productive but not stressed.  Sunday did some pottering in the house but kept it chilled.  I ate food without counting calories.  And I made Monday 1st February my refresh day.  

Monday I wrote in my journal for the first time in far too long, I read God’s word without it being work related, I listened to a ten minute piece of meditative music in prayer, and  I pushed the reset button.  Tuesday morning the pressures of home and school and work came barrelling back down on me but in a moment of clarity I pushed back.  Out loud I heard myself say:

I am a minister and I want to get back to ministering.

And it felt good.  Really good.  

It was like claiming my identity back.  I have been really struck by the lectionary reading and my personal reading how folks struggled with Jesus being ‘from’ Galilee.  Or Philip asking if ‘anything good can come from Nazareth’? Jesus it seemed faced identity issues as well but he always knew who he was and where his true identity lay.  I have been struggling with mine.  

Being a mum and wife have never been under threat although adding teacher to mum has been gruelling, but my identity as a minister has certainly been eroded through the lockdowns and then starting in a new church where I have met about 15 people in person!  I realised how low I had got and how tough the last three months had been. Moving house and charge plus COVID and home schooling. It has been super tough for all and I know how fortunate I am.    

I share this not for pity but to encourage anyone feeling low - you are not alone. I know my life hasn’t magically improved but I feel more able to continue to move forward. Private time with God and  proper rest days at home that includes your version of fun are so important. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Hang in there!!!  Finding my identity again as a loved child of God, even a wayward one, has really helped put everything else in perspective.  Still going to be ups and downs but that is life.  And teachers - you are beyond awesome! 

Take it all to God in prayer, do something fun no matter how small and know that you are loved by God, even if you are feeling somewhat distant from him.  He hasn’t left you, but would love it if you stopped by if you have been somewhat absent. Trust me!

But I will sing about your strength; every morning I will sing aloud of your constant love. You have been a refuge for me, a shelter in my time of trouble. Psalm 59:16

Every blessing

Love Sarah