Wednesday - Presbyterians and Pharisees

 From Matthew 26: 1-5)

When Jesus had finished all these sayings, he said to his disciples,

'You know that after two days the Passover is coming, and the Son of Man will be delivered up to be crucified.'

Then the chief priests and the elders of the people gathered in the palace of the High Priest Caiaphas, and took counsel together in order to arrest Jesus by stealth and kill him. But they said, 'Not during the feast, lest there be a tumult of the people.

As we continue through Holy Week tonight we interview a Pharisee. And the most common complaint made is that Jesus didn't follow the rules. Oh yes, a touch of blasphemy too. But in the main Jesus set a bad example to the community.  Rules, laws, regulations and so on keep us in order and somehow he bent, twisted and reimagined them. 

It is said that the Rabbis and others built up law books to cover every possible crime under broad headings. It has always been a sadness of mine to see our own law books grow. I know why and I value its intention but the fact we need one re bullying in the Church saddens me greatly.

We are not a happy go lucky kind of church.

We are Presbyterian which is not a theology or belief system. It is a style of governance. I often say I'm not a true blue Presbyterian. But I never truly knew what I meant by it.  Now I do. I'm embarrassed sometimes to be Presbyterian. I genuinely love and value my ministry in the Protestant Church of Scotland that 'eventually' welcomed women into ministry. It's the volume of rules and regulations, policies and protocols that I find a heavy burden. Everything must be authorised in some way, like we protect God, protect the interpretation of Scripture and so on.

I never truly realised that about Presbyterianism. That it is a form of governance. And hear is the beauty of it - we wrote it! Therefore, why can't we rewrite it? Why can't we follow in the footsteps of Jesus and recognise truly the flaws in our
thinking?
'Sabbath is made for humankind, not humankind for the Sabbath! A gift from God. For example it is not an instruction that worship is only legitimate if it happens on Sundays around 11am (plus other times in the week but only if Sunday happens first). If it doesn't happen the Presbytery clerk must be informed within 3 weeks.
Jesus sent the disciples out to preach the good news and heal the sick. Our disciples must be authorised and only then used in their own church, preferably with supervision or only as a last resort. Pulpit supply should be sought using the official lists…

And don't get me started on extract minutes, formalised (read boring) presbytery reports and the argumentative style of debate in our court system. Lord, have mercy!
Anyone else dreading the Mission Plan hitting the floor of Presbytery? The last time I was unfortunate enough to do that I was told by a Rev I should never lift my face again in Presbytery and that I'd be hated. The irony is 10 yrs or so later the very plan he so cruelly dismissed out of hand has almost arrived.

What bothers me most is that each level of our governance has its own agenda. And the thought another level see it appropriate to humiliate, or bully a lower court for failure to adhere to self-imposed deadlines strikes me as pharisaic and not Christian. Is it not more important to empower and enable? Yes push for change but at what cost? Jesus speaks of easy yokes. He wasn’t presbyterian! Yet because of those now retired having set in motion a plan under resourced we are more in need of Christ.

And maybe, just maybe we need to ask ourselves whether we need to take a stand? Where is our line in the sand? Absolutely, I believe we are
all doing our best. However, at what cost and where, o where is the compassion?

Some could say for change to truly happen, for freedom to be found, for life to be given, death and suffering is necessary. Could it be this is our time to ‘die’ for resurrection to occur? Or do we need to step back and reevaluate?

Easter blessings

Sarah

Holy Week Tuesday ~ Scented Sacrifice

From Mark 14:3-9

While Jesus was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.

Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, 'Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year's wages and the money given to the poor.' And they rebuked her harshly.

'Leave her alone,' said Jesus, ‘Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told in memory of her.'

Where Jesus sees love Judas and others see waste. What a waste of resources! What might have been done with a year's wages? I mean any church I know would be grateful for say £15,000-£30,000 gift to help the poor, do mission or cover some project.

Yet Jesus defends her. He recognises the sacrifice she made, the love and the beauty of the moment! He recognises the significance of it.

I wonder as we consider mission planning if we have got stuck in the pit where the smell is dank and unpleasant? This wee tale is insignificant and yet Jesus says it will be told throughout history. What story would be told about my congregation, your congregation? Would we be see as difficult, obstinate, greedy or would we be seen as loving, extravagant and spiritually aware?

 

Throughout the Church of Scotland we are seeing places where congregations have taken painful opportunities, given all they have to offer and poured it out for Jesus. And they must be commended. Indeed their stories should be shared and offered to others to encourage and inspire. Those places where the reality of death has been grasped, the burial taken place and from the grain of wheat buried life has sprung again. Mary has spiritual awareness that Jesus recognised. Are we spiritually aware?

It is said that when you point the finger at others, four point back at you. There is much to our current times that is heartbreaking. But, and this will not be popular, there is much that is self-inflicted. Too many of us are judging others and seeing ourselves as the ones in the right. We do not play nice. We know from other stories about Judas that he stole from the common purse. So are we guilty of looking after our own interests? We cannot see the bigger picture. We want to protect our space, our traditions, our presence, indeed we are terrified of becoming obsolete. And we don’t want to lose our power, our place or our income.

However, Jesus saw not just an act of worship but a preparation for burial-his burial. Talk about seeing the bigger picture!  There is no doubting that change is here to stay. Indeed death looms ominously as we wonder who will flourish. (I do miss the days when we planned for flourishing ministries and healthy congregations but hey ho.)

I wonder would Jesus rush to defend our actions like he did for Mary?
If Jesus sat at our conversations would he defend some and rebuke others?

In Holy Week we are reminded that all are equal in the sight of God. And it won't be long before we we reminded of the Great Commission. I pray we make it that far without imploding. Let's be extravagant in our love for Jesus, just as he was for Mary. When he could have rebuked the waste, he valued the person and the gift. No matter how little we have to offer Jesus knows the value and the spirit with which it is offered. Maybe if we saw him as the recipient we'd find a shift in our perspective. And we’d be less worried about ourselves and more focussed on Christ. After the world will always have a church…just maybe not as we know it. 

Easter peace.

Love Sarah 

Holy Week Monday - Den of Robbers

 Reflections on Holy Week text and Church Life 

(From Matthew 21:12-13)

And Jesus entered the Temple of God and drove out all who bought and sold in the Temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. He said to them, 'It is written, "My house shall be called a house of prayer"; but you make it a den of robbers.'

I wonder what Jesus would make of our churches today if he were to walk in like he did the Temple?

Of course we would like to think he would be full of praise. Look at what we do to help the local community. We worship every Sunday at 11ish. We get on with our brothers and sisters in Christ.  And we spend as much time on discipleship and prayer as we do planning and doing fundraising and filling in paperwork.  If you found yourself thinking ‘aye right’ then I hear you.  

There is much we do that is wonderful and worthy of praise. But I wonder if we have lost sight of that over these past months. Over this past week I truly felt the grief and  anger I imagine Jesus felt. Listening to dear friends in other churches feeling bereft at the loss of trust or talking about war zones is beyond heartbreaking. I see colleagues hurting as their congregations flounder in the sea of mission planning. Others are reaching breaking point or behaving less than graciously and I even find myself wonder who is telling the truth anymore.
Sadly I found myself using the comment of the Assembly Trustees Convener at last year’s General Assembly saying that we have to look after the Golden Goose congregations.  You know the ones with money.  

Have we become a den of robbers more interested in money and protecting our empire? You might want to say I am being harsh. And perhaps you might be right.

But when two congregations can get a full time post because they have money yet a tiny parish, and another single congregation with a larger parish than the two put together but much less money because it is not a rich community can only get half a post you have to wonder. Let’s be honest money is the primary mover -not mission. And I’ll tell you what is suffering most right now – mission.  And only God knows if we will have enough thriving rather than surviving congregations left.  For sure the damage being done to relationships across churches will take some amount of healing. 

Previously I spearheaded a prayer campaign re mission planning sometime around the 2012 iteration. Throughout the month of May we at Moncreiff are going to have a focus on our prayers for the Church of Scotland especially in the run up to the General Assembly. Perhaps if prayer rather than money was at the heart of our decision making we wouldn't be so messed up. For when we pray we stop putting ourselves in control. Instead the wisdom of the Spirit guides and inspires. And with our eyes on God we see what he sees. Ordinary people gathering for worship, trying to live good lives and join God in his mission field.  And those in ministry wanting to be ministers not bureaucrats or money makers. 

Let’s pray!

Every blessing 

Sarah 

Ministry ~ Hard to be Neutral

 It's hard to be neutral

Conversation over breakfast about something sparked my husband to say it is hard to be neutral. And. immediately I knew the title for this week's blog.

Thank you for all who keep reading them and pondering along with me.  I have had a lot of meetings and therefore thinking about the wider life of the church. It has been hard for me because I am working in a way that doesn't suit me. I find it incredibly hard to be neutral. However I am led to the conclusion that if I am to survive in the 'management' levels of Presbyterianism that is who I must become. Reflecting on a particularly tempestuous (mostly me I'm afraid] meeting I came to the conclusion that I need to stop fighting.  For my own sanity and perhaps even my marriage!

Previously asked earlier this year by a wonderful experienced minister if I had a sense I needed to save the Church of Scotland I found myself dithering. Yet his question still niggles me.

Don't get me wrong. I want the Church of Scotland to thrive not just survive. But I bailed from Ministries. Council because what I saw was decision making held by the few with little or no recourse. And like I said I find it hard to be neutral.  And there isn’t much room for the likes of me to be heard in the corridors of decision making.   

Has the Church over the years conditioned us to be neutral? We go with the flow, rarely push back even when we know policies are detrimental to the mission of Christ. We argue over lawnmowers, roofs, and china cups but rarely over the best way to reach our communities.

Over this past year of stepping back into 'management' I have noticed when I'm energised and when I am not. It is when I'm allowed to be me, contributing and being creative, designing and deliberating that energy flows, my brain snaps into the zone and fire burns (at varying levels depending on the topic). When I'm asked to be neutral, to sit back and simply be an

information conduit then my angst, even boredom and apathy grows.

This folks is the reality many of us face when you consider how we were educated and trained. The Church wants to engage with the Under 40s. At 46 I'd like the Church to engage with me too.  We are not designed to be neutral. Nor are we great at having every idea dismissed or undermined by 'management’. Indeed generations under me are amongst the least 'neutral' of generations currently in existence. Truly if the Church wants to engage will the under 40s, even 50s it needs to find passion and energy, a cause writ large that everyone can get behind.  And the current mission planning isn’t it!

Every time I get involved in 'management' I want to make a difference. Arrogantly perhaps I think I know it all. I don't but I do know I can't be neutral.  It simply is not in my make up.

And maybe therefore I am not cut out for 'management’? To get to the end of a day and think that I should just stop fighting the system makes me wonder whether it is truly time to return to the back benches.  Yet too many folks are relegated there already and perhaps we are missing out on so much.  What I have noticed in Presbyterianism is we place a lot of stock in titles and there is a hierarchy.  

The call is to use less people to free people up to do other things. And in doing so we exclude, disempower and often leave people floundering.  And they ain’t doing anything because the few hold the reins so tight…

Story goes of a Youth club in a particularly difficult area of town, where life was harsh, drugs rife and morale low yet this club was spotless. The resources looked after and staff treated with respect. The Youth Leader, when quizzed by a visiting MP as to how it thrived in the midst of the urban decay around it, was able to say it all came down to the young people. They owned it, cared for it, valued it and raised the funds and so on.

Neutrality will kill off the creative, passionate people. It might be easier to run a neutral system but if everything is grey then where are the rainbows?

It's hard to be neutral. And when that is what GenXers and below are asked to be we will just

walk away. Less isn't always more.  We need a whole lot less bland management and a lot more opportunities to try, risk, fail and build.  

And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them.

Isaiah 42.16

I cannot be what I am not. I can only be who God made me to be. 

But where that ‘me’ might be, well we will just have to wait and see. 

Have a blessed week and don’t be neutral. 💞

Health Check - Overwhelmed much?

Anyone else feeling overwhelmed? No- just me?  Christmas is around the corner - and I love it!  But wow - how come it arrives faster every year?

Anyone else feeling old and creaky. No - just me?! My first congregation were fond of saying old age doesn't come itself. And as I get older I recognise the truth of that. Running marathons might be amazing but my body still ages. Recently I have had to accept that milk and I no longer get along. Mostly this is fine until I think ice-cream and chocolate.

Anyone else feeling fed up with our Government? Surely not just me? Each day seems to bring another saga and a little more faith, hope is eroded. Will we look back-or my great grandchildren look back and wonder what on earth happened?  As we ponder whether Matt Hancock is a celebrity or whether the programme should be called ‘I’m a politician, get me out of here’ we are also trying to figure out how to support the congregation and community with the cost of living crisis.

Rainbow outside Presbytery office

Part of me wants to step back, stop the world and push factory reset. I'm not sure what that looks like but when I read the promises of God I'm convinced that is the red button he controls.  At some point we will walk his hallowed halls and all of this will fade into insignificance.  By that I mean the niggles, the aches, the pain, the material wealth and so on.  Love never dies and we will experience in its purest form.

At the start of my first marathon we were chatting to an experienced runner.  She was lovely and she said ‘remember the finish line is there.  You will get to the end.’. Sometimes I have to tell my children that the challenging times won't last forever. The difficult topic, the exam, the PE lesson, the appointment will end.  We live in challenging times but they won't last forever. Christmas will arrive and go and come again, politicians will come and go (some sooner than others!), economics will fluctuate as they always have but somehow we keep going.

So what to do with that feeling of being overwhelmed?

Firstly stop and take a step back. Not everything rests on your shoulders. It might feel like it. You might even need it to but you are not indispensable. Many years ago my driving instructor told me as I started a new job - make yourself indispensable but remember no-one is indispensable.  Some of us need to remember that more than others.  That is not to say you are not important but you are part of a family and a community (work, church, club, neighbourhood). Who are you excluding by trying to be everything to everyone?

Secondly, it is okay to say 'no' or 'maybe! Underutilised words but each have merit when well used.  However, for some the answer is 'yes’.  Sometimes the power of 'yes' enables another to breathe, even rejoice!  You might need to say ‘yes’ to the right things.  Indeed let me encourage you to stop something that is no longer relevant to start what you are called for.  Too often as individuals, as institutions, as churches we keep going because we believe to stop means failure.  No it doesn’t.  Does the coming of the Messiah mean everything that went before was a failure or irrelevant?  Perhaps laying to rest or embracing God’s new thing is actually the right next step and would free us to live without carrying the burden of the past.

Thirdly - diary life. I don't just mean journal, although it is incredibly useful. I mean the very gadget you are reading this on most likely has a calendar app.  Your phone that never leaves your side-use it! Schedule in time for you, your family, your hobbies, your church. Many of us miss attending church, training, coffee with friends because we don't diary it. I tell people that once they in the diary they are usually sale. I only cancel because of an emergency or health.  I even have worship in my diary and I ‘have to’ be there.  How many of see Sunday as an empty day - but if we added worship we might pause and truly consider what is more urgent or valuable or adjust our timings to allow being with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

I write in days off, and my yoga/training session on Wednesdays. It means when I'm asked to go to something, at the very least I hesitate! I see my entries and depending on need etc I choose whether it is urgent or if I can protect my time.  That might feel mercenary and selfish. Yet self-care is not selfish. 

Jesus took breaks-sat weary by a well whilst his disciples went off to do the grocery shopping.  He went off to pray leaving his disciples behind or sneaking away early in the day to get some peace before the crowds arrived.  He slept in boats. Jesus was indispensable but smart enough, humble enough to make sure he was not indispensable. He empowered others allowing them to be just like him (sending out of the 12/72). He paused and found out the woman's story while the girl 'passed away'. He waited til Lazarus died. And yes both the girl and Lazarus were alive in the end.  But also he didn't heal everyone - our friend at the poolside for example.  The humanity of Jesus is evident in the Gospels.  

When we ask ourselves ‘what would Jesus do’ let’s be honest and tell ourselves to rest, to sit down, to find a quiet space and pray, send someone else to do the messages, build a team to preach, heal the sick, feed the hungry…#bemoreJesus

Feeling overwhelmed? Pray, Pause and Ponder.  Be honest.  Who journeys with you?  What do you need to let go of? Is time a friend or foe?  Repeat on a regular basis! ;)

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8

And if you are not the overwhelmed, look out for those who are and offer a word of support, a cuppa and a battle plan to the one you see who is.

God bless you and Merry Christmas 😂

Ministry - GateKeeper Mentality

 The Gate Keeper Mentality (Theology)

In conversation with a colleague I ended up pondering gatekeeper mentality or theology in the Church.  We had chatted around the Sacraments, preaching and more and it left me wondering about how the Church of Scotland (and other denominations I’m sure) have a gate keeper theology.  Over the generations it has developed to protect God, doctrine and provides as we like in Presbyterianism - ‘good order’.  However, does the gate keeper mentality actually curb innovation and creativity in the Church?  We pass comment on the law books of the Pharisees yet the Church of Scotland Acts (laws) are not bed time reading either (unless you are an insomniac).

Those who know me will know that I have struggled throughout ministry to comprehend the gate keeper mentality.  We protect worship through lists of named people (roles) who can lead worship in the absence of the minister.  We protect the baptismal font through demanding ‘membership’ of the church, now open to an older generation or appointing an elder.  Joining the Church as a member still comes with ‘admittance to the Lord’s Table’.  

In our conversation I pondered out loud the value of this gatekeeper mentality.  Arguably there is good purpose to it and can be justified by some.  Surely if we welcome any and all at the Font, at the Table, preaching the Word we risk diluting the ‘presence of God’.  I admit to sometimes feeling the same frustration as others when the church is ‘used’ as a backdrop to a celebration.  Getting the wean done is more about the party than the sacrament.  Yet the stories I hear from those turned away from the Font, the Table, the Word breaks my heart.  For they don’t see us respecting God and preventing the dilution of his holiness.  They feel rejection - that God can’t make space for them.  I wonder who wins when we close the door?  Again value judgements can be made for both decisions.  

This gatekeeper mentality pervades Presbyterianism and has all but wiped out the Church.  We say we believe in the priesthood of all believers but demand authorisation before we let anyone loose.  We believe that children are (dare I say it…) the future of the Church and yet our budget (people, finance and resources) doesn’t invest them locally or nationally. Too many of us are trying to work around our Elders rather than work with them because we couldn’t put something in place that stopped them becoming gatekeepers. Too many members still see a visit from the minister as a ‘real’ visit from the Church.  Too many members see the Church as there for them not for the parish.  Genuinely something I love is the parish theology even if the outworking of that is about to become extreme in some areas.  (Sending you love Andrea!).  Where we engage with that properly we look beyond the congregation to the community!   

Thing about a gate is that it opens and closes. Jesus said: I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. They will come in and go out, and find pasture. (John 10:9 NIV).  In the same passage he also describes himself as the Good Shepherd and we are to listen to his voice.  He will call us and we will follow him. 

The thing about being gatekeepers is that it gives us power.  We get to say who can be baptised, who can eat at the Lord’s Table, who can preach the Word…yet as another colleague said if the Holy Spirit is working through a person who am I to criticise?

Jesus said ‘go into all the world and make disciples, baptise and teach’.

For me God is full of grace, mercy and welcome.  We might encourage and exhort those around us to ‘go and sin no more’ but when it comes to the Font, the Table and the Word I hear Jesus say ‘let the one without sin cast the first stone’.  God is more than able to deal with the pharisee and the tax collector after all. 

In the words of the hymn - all are welcome.  I figure if God can welcome me, break bread with Judas, talk theology with a Samaritan woman, forgive the prodigal child and turn Saul to Paul - well I ain’t getting in the way of that God. 

Have a blessed week and take a break from guard duty! 😉💞

Love Sarah 

Reflective - TIME - friend or foe?

 Time - friend or foe?

I was struck today in my reading of Luke 5 how people pushed to hear Jesus teach the Word of God and how he found the time to go to the lonely places.  I asked him how he found the time and the question he responded with made me ponder.

Is time my enemy or my friend?

Often time is my enemy. It overwhelms me and calls me to ask 'when will I find the time?' Others are afraid to ask of my time because I am so busy. Yet, like many, much of my time is frittered away on the inconsequential.

It made me think of Mary and Martha. A much overused pair of sisters held up as examples

of how to be and how not to be. Nevertheless many women are still actively and passively encouraged be Martha’s. Have a job, do the housework, be there for the appointments, sort out the lives of the children and so on. Women, generally speaking, still do the majority of housework and family care all whilst holding down full time jobs or significant community roles.

And yes,  there are women who don't do all this and men who do.

However, despite the exceptions there is still evidence, indeed research to show that women continue to be like Martha and dream of being Mary. I know I do.

Is time my enemy or my friend? For Martha it was her enemy. She needed to

do, to provide, to be a good host. All worthy endeavours of course. For Mary, time was her friend. She knew that her priority was to listen.

Jesus showed in Luke 5 (which doesn’t include the story of the 2 women!) that time is his friend. He had time to preach, to listen, to heal and indeed to send out the 70! But he also went to the lonely places to pray. And I have no idea about housework but he certainly had plenty men folk to care for…

My challenge is to make time my friend. I need to be Martha but not shy away from being Mary. I want my story to hold those little verses that said 'she slipped away to the lonely places to pray!' After all if Jesus needed to why not us? And if Mary has chosen the better way, why

am I so determined to clean the house all the time? Rebel against the culture that says I must! 

I'll be honest-I'm not sure what my lonely place looks like but I'm going to find out..running has certainly shown me that I can find time. But finding the lonely place in our busy world is hard work. I suspect I will need to value the early mornings…

Is time your friend or your enemy? What might you do to change your relationship with time? If time becomes my friend then I will embrace its wonderfulness. For when time is my friend I lose fear. I value the precious moments. I worry less.  Though for the life of me I genuinely don't where it disappears too! 

May you find the time to seek out that lonely place where time is quiet and the company restorative. May Martha get time off just to be with her Lord.

.

May time be your friend and may she be mine. Amen.

There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens. Eccl 3:1