The Wounded Leaders of Church

 The Wounded Leader

It has been a strange week. I have been both a Supervisor and a supervisee. Admittedly I was just having lunch with one of my Supervisors. It was interesting though sitting in both places in one week asking and being asked challenging and thought provoking questions. 

I guess what struck me most was the fact all of three of us are wounded leaders. I hope they don’t mind me saying that. All wounded to varying degrees by the institution of Church, albeit in different scenarios. 

The key perhaps is in how we deal with the wounds. I know with the gift of hindsight that I have dealt poorly with some of mine. And in helping others reflect on theirs and reflecting on mine has brought a different perspective and allowed healing. 

I have run away from those who have wounded me and in the process wounded others. For this I truly apologise.

Other wounds have been too life altering to ignore and required professional support. Others required time to recover and then step into the fray once again, wiser, stronger and even optimistic that this time it will be different! In my opinion many of the advocates for change in the Church are wounded people. Indeed a key motivation for change is discontent and therefore the belief it can be better. 

Many of us within and outwith expect the Church to be different to other institutions. We speak of higher callings and the expectation to live to higher ideals.

In reality we are as flawed as any other institution, buffeted about by doubts and cultural norms. Technology and information overload take its toll. Competing voices clamour for the place of privilege and wounded leaders often retreat, no longer willing to face the condescending arrogance of those currently in favour.

We jump from well intentioned propositions to another like frogs in a lily pond. Yet rarely do we leave the lily pond to see what else is out there. Wounded leaders will often leave for a while and in doing so realise they are not alone. When Jesus died, disciples and others gathered in locked rooms. Others went off home to find safe haven in a broken reality and ponder their future.  Whether hidden in community, awaiting an unknown future, yet still convinced God wasn't done yet or high tailing it to safer climates God appeared. In that observation I find hope.  

This time of change that has arrived in the Church, which has often been handled with less grace and generosity than deserved, is not going to be painless. Argubly for some it is surgery without anesthetic. Those of us not nestled at the centre with clear lines of support have been told to behave, get on with it, suck it up, and tough cookie. Compassion has become a distant cousin of belligerence and stoicism, therefore rarely voiced or shown. 

The church, as an institution and as congregations will be full of wounded leaders. And that is a dangerous time for the Church. One that perhaps we pay lip service too.  However, we need to grasp the enormity of the problem. Wounded leaders need time to heal, time to be affirmed, time to be forgive and be forgiven,  time to reflect and grow. 

Wounds can be lessons-after all you wouldn't put your hand in the fire again after being burnt the first time. Yet as the Church we expect that!!

Wounds can be accidents-a the wrong place perhaps or just a mistake that does its damage.

Wounds can be self-inflicted-I have plenty of scars from those.

And others are at the hands of others-et tu Brute perhaps the worst.

Maybe in this hard time of change and likely conflict with the ensuing wounds it is timely to remember we follow a wounded leader. The head of the Church-Jesus Christ leads from a wounded place. Whether betrayal or faithlessness of his people, condemned by society and leadership, rejected by his religious community or ultimately his death as a criminal, his wounds are real and his leadership comes from the broken places of the human psyche. 

My wounds shape my leadership. They challenge me to do things better, to value relationship over status, collaboration over authority, gratitude over greed. They could just as easily make me bitter, cynical, arrogant or apathetic. If that happens please God-someone reset me.

Perhaps the Church is already full of wounded leaders. If she isn't, she soon will be. So let's be gentle with one another even whilst we enter the battle. And remember even Jesus carried his scars on his resurrected body. So try not to add to thr injuries of others or yourself.  

To all my wounded brothers  and sisters in Christ know God sees you and meets you wherever you are, whether in hiding, running away or stepping back into the fray.  And for that I thank God. Amen.